dianne's life

questions i desperately want to know the answers to..

2011-01-05T15:20:00.002+08:00

i have a few questions bothering me these days..and im dying to know the answers..pls gve me signss..

1. Do u...?
2. Have i...?
3. Am or was i...?
4. Are we...?
5. But why do...?
6. How is...?
7. When will...?
8. Is there...?
9. Are you...?
10. Why not?

why?

2010-11-25T03:23:00.001+08:00

if i like u so much.Why cant i write a poem for you?
Could it be that u r not the One?

the hardest part of all..

2010-10-08T23:53:00.002+08:00

yes it was hard.i thnk to everyone pun it is hard.saying goodbye.not as easy as it sounds.i've been saying good bye a lot since i can recall.but usually its when they leave me.but this time it was different.i decided to leave.i didnt know why i made the decesion to leave.especially to leave someone who made a difference to my life.you were there when no one else was.u know how difficult it is to be part of my life.but u tried.now that we're so close, i become insecure of my own feelings.i just know that someday someone will get hurt.and i dont want that to happen.and so i opt to say goodbye now.its the only way to reduce the pain in future.now that im on a holiday break.it gives me time n space to think that life is not just about fun and games.im a grown woman now.i shall think of wats good for me and my family.hal keduniaan can wait.selesaikn hal yg memerlukan kita di akhirat sana nanti.

ps: i hope i'l do just fine.

fear

2010-07-21T03:49:00.001+08:00

"fear is when u do not know what u want"

dear guy,

2010-07-14T21:23:00.003+08:00

i am confused.irritated.vulnerable.

please dont hurt me :(

girl

im not a boy :(

2010-06-30T23:46:00.002+08:00

lately i've been very2 bz with dragonboat,assignmnts and classes.hmm.why this entry? dgr ini cerita dulu...

LOKASI: cafe HB1

lelakiA : dianne, bila u nk ada boyfriend huh? i nk gk duhh tgk siapa boyfriend u nanti.

dianne : (diam seribu bahasa :s)

lelakiB : agak ah! u slalu lepak dgn lelaki2 tp x ada boyfriend.apa barang?

dianne : (dah x tau nk pk ape dah)

lelakiA: oh lupa, u kan lelaki mana main boyfriend2 nih.(gelak cm setan)

dianne :(dalam hati bermonolog kata2 sedih utk diri sendiri (hampir nangis juga))

.....................hmm.....kn....sakit kan dgr.sakit lagi yg merasai.cuba define sikit Diyana Lamin mcm mana.Diyana=rambut panjang+manja+gedik+suka baju bunga2. x cukup perempuan kah itu?masalahnya yg menjadi issue kpd jantan2 x guna ini ialah.Dianne=gelak kuat2+mencarut+lepak ngan lelaki. =.=' .bodoh.if its just these two guys yg ckp cmtu kesah la.ini.ramai pula la kn.

dgr cerita ni lak.

LOKASI: library

dianne:eh Ali(bukan nama sebenar), mana girl yg u slalu stdy sama tuh.(nada bergurau)

Ali:mana ada!eh, u tau x nama dia nk sama ngan nama roomate i.

dianne:eeee.gila gay u!

Ali:mana ada i gay.i nk usha u sorg je kot.eh, lupa u kan lelaki.kira gay la i ni kn.

dianne:BODOH!(sambil angkat kening ziana zain)

see.dis people are treating me as if im a boy.Ya Ampun.diri ku selembut2 perempuan tau x.

ok2.listen to this lak.

LOKASI : TEPI TASIK (DRAGONBOAT TRAINING)

Abu(bukan nama sebenar) :pergh! dianne da ada six packs duhh!da mcm Malek Noor aku tgk.

dianne:ahaha! i x la sehebat u kan Abu.

Abu:mana ada.u skali row nk terbalik boat kot!

dianne:very funny Abu!

hmm.cant say much dah.i cant stop them from saying that.dah dorg pk cmtu.nk wat cne :(

anyways.those who know me well will know how much of a girl i am :)

denial of the truth 2

2010-05-30T17:27:00.002+08:00

aaaaarrrgghhhhh!!its weird weird weird.now i cant even look at their faces.its a good thg i got this page to release my sufferings.dun thnk i can go on with them anormally anymre.what started as a joke was taken seriously by them.why cant they just play along? is it so hard? ek eleh tetibe nk emo2.padahal dorg cool je.ak yg emo lebih ni.its distructing my attention and total behaviour.damn it!no no no.i cant be this weak.or can i? aih!i made a promise to them,i almost broke it.maybe i did.but i manage to fool them and continue with the rest of the plan.haaa.nk tau plan? no no no.x bole xbole.wtv it is.i hope my emotions does not affect my work.i've been doing good all this while. i cant let sumthg small get in my way.but what's bothering me is that.what are they thinking.they?him?her?should i make a conv trying to solve it?let them know how i felt abt this.eh tak boleh.nanti disyaki apa2.hmm.play cool?uneasy lah.omg omg omg!im stuck!stuck in what?i dunno.smebdy pls.anybdy pls.please dont bring it up anymre.

denial of the truth

2010-05-30T06:57:00.003+08:00

today i was accused of something impossible.i was stunned.how could they think such nonsense?or is it me who is trying to deny the truth?i couldnt answer when they asked.in a sinful manner,i lied.mygosh!y cudnt i just tell the truth?i cud have nddded when they asked.instead i gave the opposite.pity me.lost in my own world of denial.im not sure myself when i will confront them with the truth.i feel like this ego and over confident me is controlling my thoughts at the very minute of the question.but u cant blame me out of all this.im innocent too.i cant figure out whether the truth is real or not or just me satisfying my own needs.my selfish and insecure behaviour left me with thousands on questions in my head.throughout the whole conv i kept my cool.preventing myself from spilling the beans.the secret im keeping might just ruin my life,worse,somebdy elses.but i wasnt worried abt the others,i was more worried abt me.so i took the courage to lie straight to their faces.thnk goodness they were shallow enough to buy my words.fuuhhh..what a relief.im not guilty.better,i shudnt feel guilty.i told a lie that could save lives.a lie that is so important that i forbid myself frm telling the truth.the secret im keeping now is not heavy.just difficult.smeday,if the truth is ever revealed,then we will know.that it is the end of life as we know it :)

*oh

2010-05-26T23:05:00.002+08:00

have this crazy urge to talk.but we have been doing that a lil too much dis week.sweet weekend hotness ;)

untitled

2010-05-15T04:57:00.002+08:00

" i miss watching u fall asleep then waking up next to you"

one year,the beginning of growing up

2010-05-15T04:17:00.003+08:00

yes now it has been one year since i entered the so overrated uni life.haha.many things has happened along the way.i learned a lot from my mistakes and also others.the dramas.the conflicts.the scandals.the love.the lust.but most important,the friends.we gain some and lose some.but dats how life is.anythg that happens has hikmahs behind it.experience is the best teacher.needless to say i have done many things some of which im not proud of.but as humans we make mistakes.im no super human.in life we search for truth and honesty.getting lost along the path is part of growing up.and yes, i guess im prepared to grow up.im not a little girl anymre.no time to depend on someone to look after me.tried.but forget it.who's gonna?rite?once u've fell down,u've got no where to go but up.get up.by urself.u dun need others to comfort u.others to make u feel accepted.others for u to respect urself.it all comes from ur inner self.if u are not content with urself.how can others be?im making promises to myself.hoping wont cheat myself.hard to say i'l be honest.but if im not gonna do it for me.who will?since i was small i always work on being a better person.i read motivational books since i was in primary school.joined the debate team in secondary school as i find fighting for my rights is the best way to find myself.such young mind of mine was thaught that being superior was the best life that anyone cud ever lead.somehow,life thaught me that its ok to be wrong once in a while.u just have to correct ur mistakes and move on.and now that im going on my second year in uni, im excited to know what life awaits....

dzulfadhli lamin

2010-05-14T03:05:00.002+08:00

itu nama di beri.byk nama dia kat dunia ni.dzul.fadhli.mookie.blanc.aish.ngada tol bdak kecil tuh.damn.i still cant accept the fact dat he has finished school.driving my dads car.and lives life to the fullest.im browsing thru his itunes n collections of movies ni.mmg inspired tgk cara bdak ni idup.i mean bukan dia la.the things he loves.hmm....

"fadhli, i miss u so much okayh.y arent u at home when i am? :("

mungkin hanya alasan

2010-05-13T03:08:00.002+08:00

tidak perlu reason.tidak perlu kata kata.hanya alasan.pulang awal.tidak ada kerja.alasan ke?mungkin.siapa tahu.cud be that i hate goodbyes.or the end of everythg.maybe i hate being caught up in a drama.so the only escape i have is to cme home.to my family.meet my angels.but i love my friends.i'l be there for them no matter what.but right now,i just need to come home.let those whom i dun want to see miss me.muahahah :D

dianne, r u afraid of being alone?

2010-05-01T20:35:00.004+08:00

wah! i myself have never dare to ask myself this.coz sometimes we wish not to know the truth in our lives.somehw there's a friend out there who cares about my being asked me this a few days ago.i was quite dumbfounded there.dont really knw how to answer the q.tho did thought abt it but nvr cared to prolong the thoughts. the answer to this q might be the reason for my tears all this while.my greatest fear.the fear of being lonely.being alone and being lonely is two big difference.alone is when u sit in ur room sorg2.be it ur roomate balik or ur family sume da masuk tdur.but being lonely.MYGOSH! typing the word itself scares me.lonely is when u're alone and u have no one to turn to.ur world fills itself with emptiness.i had my years of being lonely time skolah rendah dulu.never had that many friends.dun even wish to have pn.ala2 cm dlm muvie,i'd be in the nerds group time skola.haha.but as i grow up, i am more exposed to the world.finally i know how the world spins. and life wasnt that boring.i make new friends each day.but most of the time i blew the new bonds.guess im just not a long-term kinda person.but i was never lonely or alone.i'd always have friends.but lightning strucked my fate.i once lost a person whom i thot meant the world to me.back then. i felt like dieing.i wasnt alone but i was lonely.yes, i do know how it feels to be lonely. but i cudnt blame anyone.so i blamed myself n promise not to make such stupid mistake like that.so to answer the q.no, im not afraid of being alone.but im afraid of feeling lonely.now.aness is leaving.sanie is leaving.azri is leaving.dayat is leaving.sol is leaving.thnk god reena is still arnd.and all my other friends :D thank u GOD for blessing me with such great friends :)

peh.fuuhhh.perghh

2010-04-22T08:41:00.000+08:00

BAIK AKU GOOGLE GAMBA POMPUAN2 CANTIK DRPD TULIS BLOG EMO! ;)

manusia x pernah rasa puas

2010-04-20T02:02:00.002+08:00

hey kids.hmm as usual i only update my blog when sumtin bothers me.haih.susah nk ckp.rite now im in the middle of sumtin i dun want to care.but i have to.kerana memutuskan silatirrahim itu adalah berdosa.cant say its not my fault 100% coz not everyone is perfect.life is as it is.recently a friend of mine made a nasty judgment of me without confronting me or make a bckgrnd check first.i seriously do not appreciate this.thank goodness those who knows the truth supported me in so many ways.but this person, just refuse to evn meet me.truth be told i want to settle this once and for all.but smehw i jadi malas.kerna perkaranya remeh.seolah2 budak2 yg berperangai tidak matang.salahkah jika i buat bodoh?salah je sebenarnye.haih.manusia manusia. x bolehkah kau berkongsi kegembiraan dgn org lain daripada berdengki dan membenci? wtv.i'l try to settle this asap.

ps: btw,life is at its fullest rite now.Alhamdulillah.will tell u abt it later :)

:)

2010-04-09T21:55:00.000+08:00

i know sometimes annoy u. but i cant help it when i miss u.

twisted love

2010-03-31T07:13:00.002+08:00

twisted love is basically kind of....twisted.haha.we like but we hate.we care but we dont.we miss but we ditch.we dont tell but we know.we text but we dun expect a reply.we show ourselves in public but we go play hide n seek.we talk but we curse each other more than we talk.we never ever say 'i love u'.it'll ruin the whole twisted thing.we dun camwhore.we spend time tgether but we'll forget abt it.we pay for each others' drink but we never buy each other anythg.we sleep tgether but we never go on a date.we hate the fact that there's a we in this twisted relationshp.we tend to keep quiet when we should say somethg.we kiss each other on the cheek but we never hold hands.we never say 'thank u' unless we mean it.we never really mean what we say.we never expect anythg from each other.we touch and we touch some more.we are not friends and we are not enemies.we are just two living beings stuck in a twisted relationshp. :D

coz im strong enough

2010-03-29T06:59:00.002+08:00

i know i am strong enough..

to be content with myself
to make me happy by my own
to live my life to the fullest everyday
to live for my future,guided by my past
to be there when somebdy needs me
to love the people around me
to take challenges
to be sad
to cry for u
to long for u
to cling to u
to let u go

and i prsy every single day for God to let me live this life under His Kerahmatan n Keberkatan.amin :)

thank you good boy :)

2010-03-25T19:31:00.002+08:00

dear good boy,

thank u so much for giving me a chance to get ur attention.

indeed i do feel special having u around.sadly the girl u thot i was is not real.

i appreciate all that u had done.tho in so little time,u get to know me so well. u saw my strength when evryone sees me flaws.u took the effort to accept me as who i am.but who i am is the one u havent met.life is unfair to treat us this way.but one way or another,someway or someday,u'd see me in a way eveybody does. cant describe my guilt of enjoying every happiness with u.im sinned to let u do what ever is it that u had done for me. as for now.i want u to know.i like u.i love the attention u gave.i miss evry laughter i had wit u.but most of all i miss feeling special.yes, u made me feel special. now that u are away.i need to get use to not having too check my fb all the time and not having to wonder what u have posted in my ym.i do hope u'll find the right person to share a part of ur world with them.im not happy neither am i sad but i do feel the loss.and again.thank you.

sincerely,

bad girl

cant say i like u,but i do adore ur way of living

2010-03-22T05:22:00.002+08:00

dear you,

haih.i feel like saying this to u personally.tp i cant.x mau u poyo lebih.and x mau u pk dianne poyo pulak.haha.i may mean nothing to u.but u definitely mean something to me.dianne pk, im just a girl yg u lepak with,malas nk layan kadang2,hanya cari bila perlu.but i dun really care.i prefer it that way.kadang2 la.kdg2 u annoy me jugk.esp when u reply my txt pendek2.hesh.tp to me, u r like a brother,a lover, a friend. i like to listen when u talk.its as if u had a long life befre and telling me ur experiences n such.padahal.sama je life u dgn org lain.cuma,maybe it came frm u.lain dari semua orang.u chill a lot.i mean really a lot.u dun care what other thinks.as long as u're fine with urself n get to move on with life.reminds me a lot of my dad.and to u, ur parents and ur academic are ur priorities.u play safe a lot.i can tell on how u handle things.be it academic,scandals and money.but u still get to mingle and not lose out on ur social life.u ignore me too much that some times i dun mind finding u.tho its not how im suppose to function.eh, tp jgn pk yg bukan2.im not inlove with u.but i feel like i need a person like u in my life.to sedarkn where i went wrong and what i shud do.like i said ,coz u chill.i still remember when u said "npe nk buat bnda senang jd complicated?".itu adalah benar.i'l hold on to that.so when u told me that our secret rendevous shud be stopped.i cm down.not because i dun get to do things with u *ada la sket sbenarnye*.but i'll miss listening to u.ur views.ur future plannings.just everything u want to do.i get a lot from 2-3 hours of spending time with u.hmm.i may be wrong in making u as an example in my life.tp i believe in what i believe.thank you so much for making me ur friend.i'll miss u.a lot.just hope soon we'll meet again.*hugs*

sincerely, Dianne.

i miss being ms.nerd

2010-03-18T06:51:00.002+08:00

story of my life. searching for the truth.but it keeps avoiding me.haha.merepek.
haih....yes i do miss being ms.nerd.at one point of my 20 years of living,i was devoted to my books.academic books,bukan comics.tp nw,dugaan dunia ini menggugat iman dan fikiran ku.adoyai! manusia mmg lemah. oh diri, kemana kau hanyut? dahulu,bukulah sumber kehidupanku.bukulah teman setiaku.x pernah mengecewakn ku.sentiasa ada walau dirinya tak diusik.walau dirinya di stack2 byk2.walau dirinya hanya dimenungkan.sungguh sabar buku2 ini dgnku.x pernah complain.x pernah marah.hanya menunggu aku.setia sungguh buku2 pada ku. cuma aku yg lalai. aku yg lupa.aku yg mengecewakn.tp mungkin,hari ini,esok atau lusa,akan ku jenguk2 dirimu wahai buku.akan ku temani malam mu.akan ku ceriakn siang mu.akan ku kembali pada hidup lama ku bersama mu. tunggulah aku buku.sesungguh nya hanya dirimu yg bisa mengubah pemikiran dan gaya hidupku. buku, sunyi pemikiran intelektualku tanpa mu. sekarang aku hanya boleh merepek tanpa isi.gamble je apa yg perlu.dahsyat perangai ku sekarang. usah khuatir buku. akan ku sianri hidup mu dgn kerajinan ku.tunggu lah aku buku.tunggu k.jgn lari :)

buang masa!

2010-03-05T16:42:00.003+08:00

hish! pissed gila! aku sakit perut nk mampus td..tinggal kan dunia ini utk berkejar2 ke tandas berhampiran. byk kekangan yg ku lalui.hujan.tutup tingkap.kunci ilang.tp aku sanggup bekerja mcm lipas kudung.tp setelah masuk tandas.kejap je.pastu dah! cis, aku bekerja keras utk seketul taik! buang masa betul :s

soal hati dan keikhlasan

2010-03-03T16:53:00.002+08:00

hati kecil ku berdetik, "bilakah engkau akan menjadi lebih serius dlm hidup mu?" "sehingga bilakah engkau akan manjahilkan diri mu ini?". ya Tuhan, maafkan daku atas segala dosa yg ku lakukan selama ini. iya, manusia berubah. ada yg baik ke jahat dan ada yg jahat ke baik. tetapi acapkali diri ini membuat kebaikan,beribu persoalan yg timbul. betulkah ini? ikhlaskah aku? teruk ke aku? baik ke aku? riak ke aku? dan byk lagi. tp selemah2 diri ini, aku juga tidak lupa akan asal usul ku.kot. aduhai. mengapa lah aku begitu dungu kala timbul nye soalan2 itu. gelap sgt kah hati ku utk membuat kebaikan. sesungguh nya duniawi ini satu ujian yg diberi Tuhan bagi menilai ketaatan kita kepadaNya. secara jujur, tidak ada alasan utk seorg manusia itu utk tidak membuat kebaikan. nak, seribu daya kan? ku akui aku sering alpa ketika diri menemui hiburan duniawi. tindakan ku salah. tp setelah membuat nya, aku terfikir sebentar, dan fikiran itu hilang tiba2 bak asap yg ditiup angin. teringat ku akan kata2 ustazah sewaktu ku bersekolah dulu "hidayah ini bukan dtg dgn sendiri.kita harus mencari hidayah Allah.sehingga Allah memberinya kepada kita. dan sekiranya kita tidak menggunakan hidayah itu dgn baik. nanti Allah tarik balik."

hmm.aku cuba.berjaya atau tidak,itu lain cerita. tapi aku akan cuba. bermula drpd perkara yg kecil ke yg besar.doakn yg terbaik utk ku ye rakan2. :)

it's nice to feel special

2010-02-18T00:56:00.002+08:00

yesterday was nice. a long drive through the night. laughing and sharing thoughts. and yes i was with a He. he took me out to feed each others' loneliness. sadly he meant nothing to me as i were to him. but it was special. maybe it is because he doesnt do this with others(not that i know of and so hope im right). truth be told i am not really used to being pampered by a male figure other than my dad or brothers before. though last nite's outing was a routine actually,but is was better than usual. it was longer and more open to each other. i dare not say anything serious as i do not intend it to be. he told me stories that inspire me in a way that it make me look back to my immatureness. to share a moment in time like that with a guy is called emotional suicide coz for most of the girls out there, it how u fall in love. but to me its just mutual needs or as they say,friends for benefit. ok enough said. it wudnt be called a scandal if it os not a secret right? hehe :D

i wish not to say goodbye

2010-01-26T12:19:00.003+08:00

all my bags are packed im ready to go

im standing here outside ur door

i hate to wake u up to say goodbye

but the dawn is breaking

it's early morn,the taxi is waiting

he's blowing his horn already

im so lonesome i could die

so kiss me and smile for me

tell me that u'll wait for me

hold me like u'll never let me go

cause im leaving on a jet plane

i dont know when i'll be back again

Oh babe, I hate to go

there's so many times i've let u down

so many times i've played around

I'll tell u now they dont mean a thing

every place i go i think of u

every song i sing i sing for u

when i came back

i'll wear ur wedding ring

so kiss me and smile for me

tell me that u'll wait for me

hold me like u'll never let me go

Cause im leaving on a jet plane

dont know when i'll be back again

Oh babe, i hate to go

now the time has come to leave u

one more time oh let me kiss u

and close ur eyes

and i'll be on my way

dream about the days to come

when i wont have to leave alone

about the times i wont have to say

Oh kiss me and smile for me

tell me that u'll wait for me

hold me like u'll never let me go

cause im leaving on ajet plane

dont know when i'll be back again

Oh babe, i hate to go

im leaving on a jet plane

dont know when i'll be back again

Oh babe, i hate to go

leaving on a jet plane

(leaving on a jet plane)

i heard this song last nite. totally fell in love with it.soothing gila lagu ni.if u guys have watched Armageddon, this song Ben Affleck nyanyi fr his wife before he left.sweet sgt2.

this song is entitled LEAVING ON A JET PLANE by Chantel Kreviazuk

diri ini

2010-01-24T22:12:00.002+08:00

setinggi mana tupai melompat..akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga..begitu juga manusia kawan2..sehebat mana pn diri kita ini pasti akan tiba satu saat kita kalah dlm permainan kita sendiri..sy berkata2 bukan utk menuding jari kemana2 pihak, tp utk kita semua ambl pengajaran dan cuba utk tidak mengulangi kesalahan org lain..

pernah satu ketika diri ini sungguh riak dan takbur dgn kehebatan yg x ramai orang lain miliki..kehebatan ini juga dikagumi sesetengah manusia yg bukan dr jantina sendri..kehebatan diri ini sendiri telah mendatangkn byk kebaikan(atleast yg disangka baik) kpd diri ini..hidup makin lancar tiada susah dan senantiasa happy..oleh dgn kehebatan yg dimiliki..hati ini sgt kering utk merasai emosi..oleh itu utk diri ini,emosi itu terletk di tangga akhir skali..pabila org lain mahu melibatkn emosi dgn diri ini..dgn pantas diri ini mempertikaikan dan mempermainkan emosi itu..seolah perasaan itu hanyalah kertas yg boleh di robek2..diri ini bangga dgn kejatuhan org lain..entah mengapa sifat senstve yg sepatutnya ada pd diri ini lenyap bak malam yg gelap..

namun, kita bukan lah Nabi..tiada yg sempurna pd diri ini..telah hampir sekian lama mengkering kn hati ini..tiba2,emosi yg tidak sepatutnya hadir,lagi haram jika merasai.tiba2 ada.kacau bilau hati diri ini. hidup tak keruan. di timpa perasaan sendiri. tetapi apa yg diri ini sedar, ia bukanlah cinta. cuma perhatian, atau mungkin kedua2nya salah hanya diri ini memandai2 jaga hati. diri ini mula merasa cemburu dan gila kuasa. masalahnya, diri ini mahukan sesuatu yg dari awal lagi bukan dicipta utk diri ini. tetapi mengapa di cari? mengapa di seru?

wahai diri sendiri, sedarlah engkau. ini mungkin balasan utk kesilapan yg kau lakukn pada org lain. akhirnya kehebatan memakan diri. biarlah benda yg bukan kau punya pergi kepada yg sepatutnya, yg lebih berhak. kehadiran kau dlm benda itu hanyalah habuk di atas meja. ka akan di lap bila2. bangunlah wahai diri. tunjukkan kekuatanmu. jangan kau kalah dlm permainan yg kau cipta. seseungguhnya kalah atau menang terletak di tanganmu. mahukah kau kalah dgn kelemahan diri sendiri?

mana u?

2010-01-22T14:41:00.002+08:00

mana u? u bz ke? gym sesak sgt ke? ..y havent u called or texted me? yes i know..i told u i dun like ppl hovering me wit text messages..but what if im willing to wait? what if i mmg nk u txt?
i masih seorg perempuan, memerlukan perhatian dan belaian yg secukupnye..not demanding for it..just want to feel it sekali sekala..

cinta agung

2010-01-20T11:48:00.003+08:00

aku ni sengal sket!! br je smlm ckp im happy..suddenly this morning i came across a memory of my past..x pasal2 da tersedu2..chet!

well, the title of my post dis time was taken while i was stalking someone else's blog(KANTOI..)..
its actually true..u dunt find these things..they will naturally come to u.. its just a matter of time..truth be told be i dun easily like/fall in love with a person..crushes itu banyak..tp cinta itu istimewa..coz all my life i believe in cinta mati..dats an indo expression of the term cinta agung in malay..ye satu satu nye cinta agung manusia ialah pada Tuhan yg Maha Esa..but wat im reffering to rite nw is cinta yg lahir dr hati seseorg utk seseorg..cinta mati itu datang hanya sekali dalam hidup..cinta biasa mmg lah byk kali..the phrase cinta itu buta has a very deep meaning..yes cinta is buta..the guy/girl might be ugly, pendek, gelap or wtv yg huduh u can think of, but if its cinta buta, u dun see the flaws..infact u only see his beauty..

cinta agung melepasi tahap cinta2 lain(cinta monyet, cinta biasa,cinta buta)..cinta agung comes once in ur life..be it long or short term..u'll know he/she is ur cinta agung..x ramai boleh detect cinta agung ini..cinta sebegini ada mereka yg x dpt kecapi sampai mati..my defenition of cinta agung would be cinta kpd seseorg kerana Allah..haha cliche i know! but i believe in this..call my poyo,call me jiwang..but its the truth..its hard to explain what i mean..coz sometimes i dun understand it myself..i mean, generally cinta is nafsu dan kerna itulah maksiat boleh berlaku..u would love someone to help them..u love them juga kerna nafsu..c'mon la kita ni manusia, tipu la kalau x de flaw en? but ur nafsu is not as sama as hw u want them to be..u guys want to be tgethr dgn berkat Allah..dgn cara yg halal..mengppreciate kurnia rezeki yg Tuhan kasi,which is the children, bukti cinta agung..u'd try ur best to make them understnd the islamic way of life..u treat them seolah2 u're preparing them fr Hari Kiamat..u'd ask them to solat,puasa n tinggalkan maksiat, coz u want them to be in heaven and not burn in hell..u want ur love life to be extended til the gates of heavens open..u may not be perfect in this sense..but u try to make them better so they can help u too..and in almost setiap doa, selepas doa utk ibu bapa..nama mereka akan disebutkan dulu sebelum adik beradik..mendoakan keberkatan,kejayaan dan hidayah utk cinta agung kita..seikhlas2 hati ini berfikir dan berkata2 ..namun, kita hanya mampu merancang tp hanya Tuhan yg boleh menentukan..pendek kan cerita, dulu aku cuba mendpt cinta agung,namun..bukan ku yg menentukan suratan takdirku sendri..InsyaAllah, satu hari nanti akan Tuhan kurniakan ku cinta agung..cinta agungku yg di bawa sampai mati..hingga akan bertemu lagi di pintu syurga.

sayang,

aku cuba ye..

cinta agungmu

i am happy :)

2010-01-20T02:15:00.002+08:00

i am confident enuf to say..for a girl my age, i've seen a lot..be it others' experiences or mine..i can never judge a person(GOD forbid) based on their backgrnd,religious practice,how they look or talk..diff people act differently in front of different groups..sometimes its not coz they are hypocrites..its just hw they prefer to be ..paham x? this type of people make a lot of friends..i dun really get where im going here..haha abaikan..

anyways, utk pengetahuan uols..im happy now..cant find that much reasons..but i know im happy..sometimes we need not search for happiness..but to accept it..finally i hv found another smbdy who is the other me..aftr 8 months of crying and whining..im now happy..i can talk bout my past without a teardrop..ngee~

rite nw pn byk things are happening in my life..but i set my priorities right..

studies
money
family
self

hehe..ok la tuh kn.ok guys..i need rest nw..see ya nxt time..love u

stalk

2009-12-22T03:55:00.003+08:00

kenapa kite ber'stalk'? seronok kan..tgk itu tgk ini..suka itu suka ini..lg2 bila org tu x tau..layannnn~

tp yg common mistake org buat sekarang ni ialah MENCEMARKN IDENTITY mereka..noob..as an example, Reena's stalker, a big guy who sits 7 hrs in the library..then txt kat facebook

"i realize dat u r so pretty"

scary kan..tetiba dia lalu depan n senyum..

"now u can see me :)"

gila babi nye freak sial...

so sy nasihat kan kepada anda yg berstalk dan di stalk..jaga2 lah..ada caranya..and biar la cara itu betul :D

ps: i tau post kali ni x bermakna..saje je nga gian o9..jarang daa o9..lappy prob..sialan

meneruskan hidup..

2009-11-08T04:29:00.002+08:00

hari ni..keluar bersama Naui..kami berjalan2 di Mid Valley seharian..niat awalan mahu mencari pakaian formal..tetapi..tops yg cun dibeli..hehe..da lama x jmpa naui..

sebentar td..ada lelaki tegur sy..dia pun x lah perfect mana..ttp..dia berani menegur perbuatan sy..terkejut sy..coz kami x kenal sgt pon..dgn terang dan jelas dia mengatakan "Dianne ni culture shock lh!" WTF??? agak terkedu sy disitu sebentar..susah menerima hakiki..ye saya akui ada perkara2 baru yg sy cuba dan sdg ecstatic coz sgt teruja(really need to overcme dis)..ttp org yg bisa menegur sy hanyalah Aness n Sha..mereka mengenali sy..mereka tahu menegur sy dgn cara berhemah..sesungguhnya saya ini sensitif..masalah nye ngan mamat ni kata nye sy mencarut byk sgt..sy juga minta maaf jika bahasa terkasar tetapi perkataan SHIT itu sudah sebati dgn perbualan harian..maaf..ye

selepas kejadian itu..sy buzz sha..dia x de..aness juga telah meminta izin utk tdur..jd akan sy txt dia esk..oleh kerana sy terasa ya amat..sy ym dgn mak angkat sy, Mama Shfq. mereka2 ni golongan yg x judge org..now i remember i dun like normal guys and y ppl like faizal bisa memenangi hati sy..kerana mereka tidak judge..lelaki zaman ni..pantang tgk pmpn melaram..mula lah kutuk..janguk la..murah la..confrm sedap la..hesh..nk kne pukul agaknye diorg nih..

selepas Mama x dpt melayan kerenah sy kerana dia ada exm..ada seorg mamat dr matrx tegur sy..dia ini special..baik hati..sopan aja orangnya..ttp tidak lembut..entah mengapa hati sy terbuka utk melayan si dia..sebenarnya..sia dia ni crush sy pada awal2 matrx..cuma diri ini terasa begitu rendah dan hina utk digandingkan ngan orang sebegitu..dia adalah athlete..main basketball..body hot..haish..merepek lak..x pernah ku pasang harapan pd org sebegini coz at the end of the day selalunye sy akan kecewa juga..oleh itu..dulu dia hanya ku usha dr jauh..jalan bahu ke bahu pun x ku pndang(segan dan malu)..
tetapi mlm ni..dia melayan ku lain dr yg biasa..aku suka..tp ntah mengapa persoalan byk bermain di kepala ku..

diri ku ini masih belum pulih sepenuhnya untuk terus meninggalkan perkara lama..

maaf ye awak..sila beri saya masa..yang sgt banyak...

PHOBIA 2!

2009-11-05T14:36:00.002+08:00

hey kawan2, semalam saya dgn perasan berani nye pergi nonton movie seram bersama Gee, Ratna, Syafiq dan Qayum. nama muvie itu ialah PHOBIA 2. oleh kerana saya seorg pentakut saya tak tgk phobia 1. anyways, muvie itu start pada midnite, mmg SANGAT sesuai. cerita itu ada 5 kisah dalam nye. setiap 5 kisah tu x de kene mengena ngan sebelum nye or slepas nye. so its like 5 cerita hantu yg di combine jd 1 movie. seating ktorg depaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan sekali! so no thanks to syafiq..haha. since i seorg pentakot mereka kasi saya duk tgh2..kiri saya syafiq dan kanan saya Gee. org belah kiri tu boleh la nk ber selindung2 bergedik2 bertakut2..tp yg belah kanan tu..asyik tendang2 kerusi..ngok nye Gee! haa..itu lah kisah saya tgk muvie..many thanks to Syafiq kerana baju nye telah ditarik2 ketika sy takut dan badannya dijadikan tmpt selindung dr adegan2 seram haha :D

when u have no one else to blame but u

2009-10-29T16:09:00.002+08:00

the results for my exam is already out..semalam ia keluar..at first i dare not even to think abt it..tp lama2 nk x nk kne gak bkk..bila terpampang je result kat screen laptop.. aku menangis tanpa air mata..hati menjadi beku..fikiran melayang, terbayang2 wajah2 hampa ibu bapa ku..oh my God, what did i do to deserve such a disaster dat may cause my allowance money,soon-car-to-be,respect from my family n friends,trust from my parents,fair judgements from the public and most important my own self-esteem? my cellphne berdering2..ibu call, x sanggup i angkat her phone call..failing my parents is something i will never do in a million lifetimes sekali pon..they gave me enuf support, provided me with the things i need n want and never asked for anything in return accept for my good grades in academic..and i cant even do that!! my roomate n i ran to Fad n Sue's room..sume org duduk berkumpul dlm bulatan menangis..i didnt cry..i looked at them as if my heart was as hard as stone..dlm bilik tu ada 5 org..me,Athi,Sue,Fad n Shikin..hanya me n athi yg bukan budak scholar..in dat room..pointer yg paling tinggi is 2.++..credits to Shikin..saya buntu..dont know what to thnk or where to go..the last thing i wud want is for my parents to burst their balloon at me..so i wnet back to my room..solat Maghrib..time sorg2 duk dlm bilik..i menangis..x sure menangis sedih atau kesal atau x puas hati..thank goodness last nite got practice, atleast to distract me frm my overreaction due to my grades..even the dancers can read my face n know that something went wrong..i owe it to them for making my nite yesterday..they were seniors,so getting advices frm them was an honour.. i may not be a top student or those who always got to be on stage for good grades, but getting dis semester's results really hit me rock bottom..

COMPUTER AND PROGRAM DESIGN D*
CIRCUIT THEORY F
FIELD THEORY D+*
ENGINEERING MATHEMATICS 1 D*
ELECTRONICS 1 F

see! gila vavi kan!..its embarassing n humiliating..about 65% from the students who took Electronics 1 failed..usually..below 40 baru fail..but too bad somehw for engineering faculty..passing mark is 50%..damn! how am i gonna tell my parents..better yet, how am i gonna convince them not to gve up on me????? to be honest.. i dunt know what went wrong..its either i do not know the cause or pretending to not know or denying my own fault..SUMPAH I DONT KNOW!

well, when u hit rock bottom, u have no where else to go but up..for now..i need to forgive myself in order to move on..i've scheduled a meeting with my advicer tomorrow morning..lets see what she has to say..may have to repeat a few subjects..damn!

Baru start sem

2009-10-27T16:42:00.002+08:00

today is the second day of 2nd sem..hehe yesterday i missed my 1st class..ngok x! haha then bila da excited to start the 2nd class..it was cancelled..dang! fyi, dis week is quite hectic..bukan day but nite..dats coz im a student by day and bidadari by nite..hehe..know wat i mean..i joined SAKTI, a traditional dance group in MMU..on 30th of Oct ada MMU's Annual Charity Dinner so ktorg kne wat performance..its good to keep myself bz...aside frm being away frm books fr awhile, i get to make new friends n take time to enjoy myself n forget all the sorrows i've been thru..
every nite ada praktis yg start kul 8.00pm til whenever k.Kem(president) wnts us to stop..fuh serius penat!..kami akan perform 2 tarian iaitu Chandak n Changgung..

to all my beloved friends, minta maaf x dpt hang out or dtg to whatever practce there is..but i'll be free by next week..hope to see u guys n hang out as usual..

loves,
dianne

kepada anak babi yg confirm akan terasa!

2009-10-23T03:36:00.002+08:00

weh, sorry if dis post contains byk rude n harsh words...

anak babi,
ko x yah la nk perasan ak ni stalker kau, what the fuck!..kalau dlu ye la kot..ada reason..kau igt kau sape?? pale hotak kau mmg berkarat ah! kau yg bodoh sgt g publish number phne kau kat facebook pehal? kau sedar x kat facebook tu utk public view..sial la kau..mulut pedas je kat fb kata aku la yg sial..otak kau tu yg x reti nk operate..kne ada manual sendiri agaknye..aku call kau ari tu coz d day befre kau beriya lah nk kasi present aku..ak pon pk la kau da bhenti emo,nk jd member semula..tp bila ak call nk ajak kuar..kau tengking ak lak..oi babi..ko ni ok x? nk kne sembelih ngan aku ke?..pe haram kejadah kau beli hadiah utk aku pon ak x paham!..g mati la kau..anak babi pon perangai x terok cm kau..x kenang hati budi org..mmg patut hidup kau byk masalah!

ps: kau sendiri pon tau kau ni cm sial kn :D

sakit perut..sakit hati

2009-10-06T12:59:00.002+08:00

hello..maaf kerna lama menyepi..dis week exm...so x o9 sgt(ceh leh caye la sgt)..hr i had to write..not coz i want to..but coz i hv to..org perempuan kalau simpan dlm hati bole mati..somethg happen last nite..kinda hit me straight in the face..maaf ini bukan gelanggang tinju tp..emosi semata..

last nite i had a chat with a great friend frm matrx dlu..we chat2..coz dia br balik dr jmpa our old friend and we tanye khabar..tiba2 i blurt out my feelings fr faizal..we all knw dat i can never be over him..atleast not in dis 7 months..dgn berat hati he told me..

beliau : Dianne i rasa its time u kne lupakan Faizal la..i tau susah..i pon pnah rasa ditinggalkn oleh
org yg kite sayang.Lately ni i tgk Faizal da byk kembali kepada asal..asyik ngan jantan je
keluar sana sini..
me : ye ke?
beliau : u tau x..dlu masa spgk5 kat kmpk..Faizal sndri bgtau i yg dia sayang u sgt sgt sgt..tp dia masih mahukan life dia dgn jantan2 lain..

tanpa sedar air mata aku da mengalir..buku computer prgmng yg aku pegang makin basah terkena air mata aku..baru mlm td aku tau perihal sbenar..selama ini aku biar fkiran melayang memikirkn hanye perkara yg positif kerna aku ditinggalkn tanpa sebab..hanya persoalan..i make myself believe dat he might not be ready and dat he's guilty of not making me happy or he's scared of being left..but i was wrong..so wrong dat caused me my entire happiness of dat day..

Faizal left me because of one selfish reason ..he wanted his gay life back..being able to be around guys who wud take him in for the nite and toss him out the next day..what kind of freedom is dat?..tukar2 pasangan evry other week..bosan dgn yg ini pergi kepada yg lain..i thot when Faizal met me..i'd be his answer to his questions in life..mahu aku bahagiakn dia..gembirakn dia selalu..buat dia bersyukur aku wujud di dunia ini..

kul 4 pagi td..i cried myself to sleep..bangun je mata bengkak..nk x nk kne bgn gk..ada exm at 9..i prayed to Allah to let me sit for my exm in peace..i txted Ibu,Mama shfq n Aty..minta mereka doa bersama..didnt txt Aness coz i knw she's sleeping(ceh,kne gk explain t dia merungut :p)..

during exam..awal2 tu susah nk focus..perut sgt sakit coz x berak..hati sgt sakit n pedih..mcm2 pikir..namun nasib iman ni kuat lg nk ketepikan nafsu dan cabaran dunia..Alhamdulillah td bole la jwb..
kesian Abu(my crush) bukan nama sebenar, dia tegur, i cm nk x nk je layan..hr ni mmg susah utk senyum..sorry everyone..didnt mean to act so sour :(

exam invigilaters bodo :D

2009-09-29T12:38:00.003+08:00

OMG! i masuk exam hall dgn harapan nk jwb dgn bersungguh2..
so glad bila dpt tau Fadzla sat dekat to me.. pandai..hehe..tp suddenly it hit me "eh,kalau Fad ada kat cni..mesti Penan ada gk"...toleh2 je...SHIT! he was there sitting next to me..dlam hati aku kata..Gosh, asal dia kat cni..da la dia bdak 4 flat..mmg kecil aku dibuatnye..fyi, Penan ni is my harasser..yup,u heard dat right..he harrased me on facebook n sold my pics thru fb gk..mmg psycho..so td..he didnt even look at me..segan kot..nta..and the guys yg lalu sbelah dia sume tepuk2 bahu dia ckp good luck..maybe coz he was sitting next to me..mmg dugaan sy hari itu

when exam started..Alhamdulillah i see familiar questions..mostly yg da pnah jwb..pastu i usha Penan..fuh..semangat gila tulis on kertas..cm tgh stream guitar lak..biar la dia..dia mmg genius..tp sbenarnye i cuak gk..i x de la confident sgt jwb papers tuh..so ok la i jawab ngan keadaan normal..tiba2

"Attention to all stdents who are taking Electronics 1..pls be reminded that u are not allowed to use calculator model fx-570MS..the invigilators will take away ur calculator if u r caught using one"

i tgk my calc..eh,ni cm yg dia sebut td..pastu i pndg Fad..dia da tersengih2.. i pndg Penan..mmpphh..dia nga ketagih jwb exm..kimak anjeng nye invigilator..kalau dia nk amk ak nye calc,ak nk gne pe???? ada la seorng kakak berbaju kurung merah tudung pink..ayu je diri sbelah ak..ak pndg dia cm org bodo..pastu dia kata
"sorry but i have to take dis away..its the rules"
perghh..English beb..ak da la x de mood time tu terus ak sergah
"abes kalau amek, sy nk kira gne ape? ni paper kira2"
"sy minta maaf..but there's nothing i can do"
muke dia sedh je..i cm...alahai sian minah ni kne ngan ak..so dia pon amek my calc..

itula ceghitenye(loghat perak?)....haih..i answered paper kira guna bentuk lazim dan sebasic mungkin yg blaja dr skola rndah..mmg x patut..if i fail EEN1016..im blaming it on MMU..

waaaa..nak IBU!

2009-09-29T02:50:00.002+08:00

tmrw is exam..n ofcourse la hr ni stress nk mati..tiba2 rindu ibu..so i msg ibu..x sangka our small conv can be so chomel :D

conv of me n ibu,

"jiwa kosong"

"Kosong? Isi batu2 kecik n goncang. Dptlah rentak ape2 lagu."

"Dpt lagu tajuk 'fail' camne?"

"Plep..plep..plep"

"Taik jatuh?"

"Bukan..tgh buat lempeng"

"Lempeng tu ape?"

"Roti canai melayu. Bulat flat mcm kulit popia tp tebal"

hahaha...cute lah..haha..huhu..i miss ibu..wish exm wud finish fast :(

i just want u to listen

2009-09-28T03:18:00.004+08:00

its abt 3.15 am..i went to bed an hour ago..but my eyes just cudnt sleep

i need someone to talk to DESPERATELY..
byk nk ckp..perasaan berbaur..hati x sedap..badan x sihat..
i used to hv seorg pendengar yg setia..
bila i call..dia angkat

"u, tau x..hr ni kn..bla..bla..pastu mamat/minah tu.....bla...bla..bla.....i cm WTF!..then dia cm..WTH...pastu...bla....bla...bla........fuhh lega da lepas......."

he will answer,

"alaaa...biasala tu..pondan mmg cmtu..x de pe nye...lupakan je laa..."

so simple..yet it made me feel better..but nw...if i cite kat org..be it my mom or my friend
the usual wud be

"tu la u..kan da kata..spe suh u..bla...bla...dah2...jgn degil..there's more to life than just dat...bla..bla..bla...byk lg bnda leh buat..bla...bla...hidup ni.......bla..bla.bla"

feedbck sgt byk..lg wat i stress ada laa..kdg i thnk God dat those yg i talk to ni..actually cares bout me..and wants me too feel better..tp..hakiki nye..

i miss ppl listening to wat i say..x payah cmmnt byk..just sit..listen..never judge..and enjoy life as i move on with u..

all i want is for u to listen..im not asking too much am i?

exam..exam..haih

2009-09-27T04:05:00.002+08:00

its 4am..just got bck frm cyberia..sume x tahan lapar..g mkn jap..tp x abes pon..coz x sedap..peh..
its exam week..and i feel like i havent prepared a thing..seriously..sometimes i feel like studying is not my thing..feel like enjoying for the whole year then br start study..mmg berangan lebey la kn..
lately byk feelings bercampur..and tau x pe..my bad habit came bck..nta nape..da lama ditinggalkn..tp dtg balik..for nw i layan jap..hope not addicted to it..

i've been sleeping at 6 am for a few days nw..bgn time azan Zohor..start stdy kul 3..mlm2 o9..bila stdy cm x stdy..i mean i can read a book for 5 hours n still cant answr a question..imean..WTF?
x dpt focuskah? wat am i thinkng or doing? my frens seem to b doin just fine..y am i like dis???
its as if there's something bothering me..something i shud do but never did..tp apa?..ami thinking too much..

today i had a friendly chat wit Epis..we was being a good fren..love him fr dat..he told me to be focused n to forget my past n start with a new life..he told a truth dat i cudnt take it at first..but the truth made me realize dat if the past does not want u to remember it..y shud u right?..i dunno..guess im so used to reply on my past dat i do things i did befre sampai x sedar bnda tu da x de sebenarnye..i je yg ada2 kn..haih..i da merepek over da ni..ok got to continue studyng..bye

l or h

2009-09-22T20:08:00.002+08:00

I dont know..im confiused and being delusional

i feel something..its not love, its not hate..it is somewhere inbetween..

raya prep 2009

2009-09-19T01:39:00.007+08:00

today was a really hectic day!
i x berniat pon nk bangun sahur..coz dh la tdo kul 2.30 n i x pose pon so i dun gve a damn la kn..tetibe my phne ring..an old friend call..mmg kacau btol mamat tuh..tp x pe..so i went down to join i bu n fadhli fr sahur..tiba2 "ok diyana,aftr ibu smyg subuh i want all the dishes siap cuci"....damn! dah agak dah! ibu mesti akan menyeru namaku..tp x pe la..ini mmg expected coz my maid pulang ke kampung wit nenek..aish..dat day ibu tugas kn kami cuci dapur yg bau hancing n 2busuk coz dia x masuk dapur n da x masak for 1 month..bau2an itu adalah hasil tikos2 besar yg byk belakangan ini..sumpah sgt geli when me n fadhli had to remove evrythg at the back to scrub the lantai..
mcm2 ktorng jmpa..gumpalan slimy hijau(cm telur basi cmpur hingus..ewwhhh)..lipas2 mati..taik2 tikos..gosh!..ibu beli alat mencuci yg baru..pd hari yg sama gk ktorg habiskn toilet bleach n rosakkn berus lantai tuh..punye la kotor dapur tu..iye laa...time ada maid..ada la gk bnda2 yg dijaga..selepas dia pulang kampung..mcm kapal pecah!

the rest are uploaded on fb..g la check :D

im at HOME!!

2009-09-17T22:45:00.002+08:00

arrived home arnd maghrib time td..had a big dinner..wah! da lama x mkn kat umah wit ibu n fadhli..tiba2 i terfikir..kesian mereka2 yg br fly..esp nk raya ni..mesti mereka merindui family n umah masing2..haih..during times like dis i appreciate wat i hv nw..

sumtin happen td..agak kelakar la gk..my pak lang came to the house n brought chickens to be cooked by ibu for buka puasa at atok's tmrw..punye la byk ayam nye sampai kne angkut gne baldi..my adik ni pula bangang sgt pergi amek my baldi baju buat tadah ayam yg masih berdarah dan menitik2 airnya...EEWWWHHH! tp wat can i do? dah terjadi da pon..padahal byk je baldi dlm toilet tuh..ada yg kne sekeh pasni! aish.....

td bila masuk my room..bkk je radio..berkumandang lagu yg telah menjadi saksi cinta dianne dan faizal(sorry i x bkk lagu2 raya nih)...aih..hati ni sayu je..da la nk raya..tp x pe..bukannye i ni janda mati laki..hanya hilang boyfriend je..patah tumbuh hilang berganti... ye tak??

hehe..da byk bebel ni..mentang2 da lama x bebel on blog..ok la i nk mandi dlu pasni nk tolong isi kuih..ciao

so far..

2009-09-17T11:40:00.002+08:00

heard the new song on my blog?? best kn!..i got it when i was stalking other ppl's blog.hehe..its called 'I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW' by Tegan n Sara..last nite was like yg terpaling boring nite kot..i was so bored i had to sleep early..gilaaa! but then thnk goodness i woke up ontime to go to last math class.. chapter proBABIlity..its not easy y'know..

i cm ada byk nk blog..tp cm malas nk tulis..x pe..i'll try my best kayh

kelmarin, i went out sahur with Nik,Iqa,Fikky n Shaqel..it was my first hang out with the cheer team..gegaya perut gila lapar..tp x mkn sgt pown..byk bnda i blaja frm that 3 hrs of sahur..starting frm 3 am to 6am..at JS MAJU,cyber..muhahaha!! Fikky n Shaqel telah menjadi sifu i dlm menghisap shisha seterer mungkin..so far i da acheive penghisapan sekuat tenaga n hisap thru hidung..yg lum pass is buat huruf 'o' frm asap..hurmm..x pe nxt leh cube lg..

im going back tday..kata ibu..dia akan pick me up lunch time..sdg menunggu sambil mkn kismis(i tak puasa..hehe..x boleh la bukan x mau)

smlm MC kata gossip girl season3 dah kuar..Gorrrsshhh!!! i like nk hell2 tgk..serious..varsity life kot!! aish..harus mendapat kannya...t i minta mc dwnld la..hehe thx mc :)
Gossip girl is like a mirror of my life(ceyh perasan!) of course minus the million bucks,random sex n drugs :D
nta npe it very much relates to my life...as in my personal life..relationshp..family..gitu2 la..n i learn hw to handle things frm there too hehe..

OMG! i lupe nk say sumtin..somebdy has a crush on me!!hahha..yg ini i x tipu..serious shit!
i pon cuak coz dis guy is more to obsess than like..its not like he's stalking me..tp he's testing me with all the wrong things just to see wether i could handle it or not..psycho gila..nnt one day if i raje i tell k..hehe..ok dats all fr nw

muah..xoxo :)

Hello World :)

2009-09-16T15:54:00.002+08:00

its been a very long while since i last blog online..coz cara blog i skg is angkat telepon and go "Aness, u taw x..bla..bla.."..hahaa..many things happen while i distant myself away frm blogging..campus life,emosi,friends,beloved girlfriends..byk...Sha da blah g US..hope she's doin fine there..i really miss her..nw rakan i bergossip dan meluahkn perasaan is aness..

Gosh lupe nk gtau..i got my hair done..during my bday..it was a gift frm ayah..atleast i hope dia still x mara coz the outcme is ilook good..hehe..stra8kn rmbut yg berasal dr gumpalan curls yg hodoh cost ayah rm3oo++...gila right..tp x pe.i x regret..infact i love it..cume hope it to grow longer supaya bole buat iklan Sunsilk :P....
tp i malas nk upload..next time k :)

It's my birthday

2009-08-14T02:11:00.003+08:00

jam menunjukkan pukul 2 pagi..and im sitting here in front of my laptop..sending tq notes thru sms n fb to my dearly beloved friends who care enuf to wish me happy birthday..but something is amiss...im still waiting,patiently..for my wish to cme true..i strongly believe it wud happen..looking at my phne constantly..for an sms dat wud brighten my whole world,or just drown me in tears..dear God please grant me dis wish for i will not wish more than dat for today..i believe..

Im not happy.

2009-08-12T19:19:00.002+08:00

Its been a rough week for me..exams..gaduh2..malas2..nangis2..kawan2..mcm2..i dunno wats wif me..its like d mistakes i did during SPM n Matrx is just a coincidence..i never learn from it..instead im doing it again..nta bila la ak nk sedar..lately i've been wanting to cry so hard for no reason, cant sleep at nite tho im tired, get emotional wit ppl arnd me, easily annoyed wit thgs my frens does..i kesian pd mereka..x pasal2 kne wat muke..i still laugh arnd them..main2 gk..but...im just not happy..

yesterday nite was electrncs exm..i came bck early to campus,sacrifising my holidays to prepare fr d exm..tp, i wasted it..hati ini mcm tiada perasaan..i suck badly during exm last nite..aftr exm i decided to go dancing with SAKTI..at least it made me fell better..i cudnt care less bout anythng dis past few days..i didnt care if i wasnt sleeping at all, i didnt care if im not eating, i didnt care if i even wake up for morng classes..my parents wud be dissapointed when they hear dis..i wish to become a better person..but i can never know when am i ready..

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS (part2)

2009-08-06T14:26:00.002+08:00

Dis is a sambungan to wat happenned in part 1..it was a bright sunday morng...we opt to go to TIMES SQUARE and shppg..Sha wasnt driving so we took public trnsprt instead..carrying heavy loads(coz i x reti travel light) we stopped at KLSentral to simpan beg..nk g TS kne nek monorail..so sambil tggu sha beli tix i sat at d side posing cm model sket..hehe..to my surprise..i saw a guy who looks exactly like Faizal..i stare je dia..itu mmg Faizal! so i took d courage to walk up to him and said hi, "Hi Faizal,u watpe kat sini?" ,"Nga odw nk g jmpa Adeq kat Chow Kit".."ooo,u sihat?".."Ok je, u ngan spe ni?".."Ngan my frens"i pointed to d gurls.."Da la i da lambat nh"..he blah..just like dat..i x sempat nk ckp pape lg..as i sedar,tears were alrdy strolling down my face..tp i still tahan...tho we took d same monorail,d girls n i nek gerabak blkg skali..tp..hati perempuanku lemah..i cried,unable to hv expalanation to wtv happened just nw..my hands were trmbling..d girls tried to comfort me..i stopped crying..tp tears wont stop flowing..sampai TS i went str8 to d toilet..cried my eyeballs out!..i called mama coz i thot i needed someone to talk to..it didnt help..Sha called saying dat mereka odw to toilet..i quickly wiped my tears n betulkn my smudged eyeliner..they came n gave me hugs..they also bought me Baskin Robbin's Cookies n Cream..terus berhenti bersedih..i told them "One stupid guy wont ruin my day with my girls"..i shopped like hell..budget byk duit la sgt..haha..we had our lunch at SUBWAY..it was everyone's 1st time there..we were thrilled..

after dat we separated.Szu' had to go..so did Bee..so me,aness n sha took d KTM to MidValley to get Aness's bag..dlm KTM we met dis young chinese guy..as usual la KTM pack hel2..so we cramped ourselves kat dlm tu..d chinese guy startd a conversation..we thot d guy was sweet n thotful considering d fact dat he offered space..UNTIL!!! his hand moved to my hair..we were swearing dlm hati time tuh..but not to be rude i kept quite..he tiba2 rubbed his fingers to my arm..i da gelabah gler..sume senyap "Jangan la takut kakak..Kenapa kakak takut?" WAT THE HELL???????...dat guy was sumpah freaky..thank goodness 1 sttn je..keluar je KTM ktorg menjerit gila!..hahah..wat an experience..at Mid aness got to buy her purple bag n i got my self a new pair of bleached jeans for RM19.50 at F.O.S..happy gila i ptg tuh!!!

Despite the horror that we went thru dat day..jmpa faizal la,blur kat Subway la..and dat freak frm china town..i was so happy dat i finally got a new pair of jeans dat i've been dreming of..haihhhh

I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS (part1)

2009-08-03T00:06:00.002+08:00

Had a wonderful,exciting,unexpected,quite disturbed weekend! as usual kami masih on track in celebrating Sha's last days in Malaysia..on saturday we had a small phoenix gathering in Sunway Pyramid..sje jumpa2 befre sme of us terbang sana n sini..ada adzreen,adzwin,mama,syaziee,kinok,aimie,dare,adila athirah,sha,sazu',aness,me,bee,syuque,syuque's fren,boo(spe nama ketinggalan jgn mara)..n kami jalan2.shopping2..ok la(buat muke)..im not a big fan of reunions..seeing our successful old buddies.. it kinda remind me of d mistakes i did in d past T_T..

dat nite..me,sha,aness,sazu' n bee went to NICHI yg ada 4 at kat mana nta Sha bwk..sgt excited..besar bangat cawangan itu!igt nk cr blouse n green skinny jeans tp tiada yg menarik..huhu..gumbira hati perempuan kami ini..puas ati shopping di situ..after dat we head to OLD TOWN COFFEE at Ampang makan Ipoh Chicken Hor Fun..weeeee...then grak KLCC n watch THE PROPOSAL..itu adalah 1st midnite muvie sy di KLCC..percaya x?? i nanges dlm cinema..terok x?..huhu..cnt help it..its my time of d month..plus cte tu sweet sgt..tu la cr ktorg celebrate bday Sazu' on the 2nd..dlm muvie..passing2 wishes..he3..ok2..i need to sleep nw..ada exciting story menantikn anda di I LOVE MY GIRLFRIENDS(part2)..nantikn...

READY...OK!!!

2009-07-28T20:39:00.002+08:00

HELLO2!!...wah excited sungguh i arini..dia morng woke up late..x de mood gle nk g math..so x pg....tp x pe didnt miss anythg pn..i pakai tshrt n slacks je arini..haih...tp yg best..td ada bdak cute tolong amekkn pencil i yg jatuh..hehe..today kn adik2...1st time i g cheerleading prctce!!...seronok n menarik..ini sume gara2 support izza fadzlani n iza syafiqah...tq so much to both of u...ada la chance nk kurus cepat sket hehe...ni br balik prctce ni..terus tulis blog..excited sgt hahahha... XD

my current obsession.

2009-07-27T19:46:00.006+08:00

its been a few days since i x tulis blog..sorry..

dat day(x igt bile)..i discovered a new website..bukan redtube! i tu da lama tau da..haha..i found LOOKBOOK.nu..its like facebook..tp only meant for those yg really interesred in fashion..sumpah menarik nk mati!!..i immediately fell inlove with street fashion..cantik2 belaka..most of em are major in arts..no wonder la..tp the outfits mmg cun2..im so into VINTAGE dis days..just hope i got money to shop je..dat's wat's stopping me nw..haih...

hehe my second current obsession is....ALI!!! huhu..mmg leh angau..know who ali is?? Ali ialah karikatur dlm cte KAMI..he's tall..big haired..sensitive..funny..and of course good looking..tau x pe??? ada dis one guy sibijik cm Ali..and he's in my electrncs lecture..huahua..dia pnah ckp hi kat i..tp..i ws walking fast so x pndng or respond lgsg...my lost..huu....

i dont knw

2009-07-24T05:10:00.002+08:00

its 5 am..and i cnt sleep..i knw i shud be studying..but i cudnt stare at the book too long..i dun knw y..my past haunts me..i dunt knw how to describe dis..but im crying my heart out rite nw..am i scared? am i afraid? of wat?? moving on...or just the fact that im alone nw?..everything has a reason and explanation..but on my side of the story..u just dont hv one...

Mengapa pedih yg kurasa
Bila semua ku ada
Mengapa mengalir air mata
Bila tiada sebab untuknya
Mengapa hilang semuanya
Disaat ku mempercaya
Mengapa wujud cerita
Walau tidak ku karang
Mengapa ada perasaan
Walau ku tak rancang
Mengapa menunggu
Bila ia takkan datang
Mungkin ku sudah hanyut
Dengan cerita si pari2
Maaf
Silap ku mengikuti.....

DO NOT STUDY LAST MINUTE!

2009-07-23T17:41:00.002+08:00

haih.....mlm ni ada Quiz ENGINE MATH!! aku cuak gler seyh..gosh..its like my brain is still zero! mak aih..ptg td i sent a msg to ayah

"ayah, find me a calon skg gk! i want to get married! =(''

hehe..less then 10 seconds after dat ayah called..dia pn mmbebel la pasal, hw i can do it but i underestimate myself too much..bla..bla..bla..i cm..actually my dad is quite predictable..u'll knw wat he's gonna say..boleh je if i nk save d credit and repeat his words in my version td..but having ayah to call me and worry bout me and tell me hw he believes in me, is just.....PRICELESS!..its a guilty pleasure that i like to commit..huhu..my bad ;p

Weekend

2009-07-20T16:29:00.006+08:00

weee....! last sat i went bck to KL..to celebrate Nik Afif's n Ainuddin Faiz's bday..afif's is on d 19th n ainud's is on d 26th..we decided to celebrate earlier before mereka smbg studies..huu~..dat saturday..Afif voluntarily belanja us tickets for HARRY POTTER and lunch at SECRET RECIPE..wah! best sgt2..it was just d three of us..geng petro yg slalu balik sama XD..we watched muvie kat PAVILLION n lunch at TIME SQUARE..i bought a solar powered plastic plant for them..comel sgt..huu..ptg tu..they decided to head to PELITA nk tgk MU lwn Malaysia..i x ske bola sgt..so i balik umah..

dat nite..i ajar ibu buat blog dia sndiri for her hampers and gifts..hehe..kelakar sgt..budget i ni pro jer..haha..arnd 2 am i insisted ibu watch PS.I LOVE U with me..i cried gila..ibu cm selamber je..tp i knew she cried at certain scenes..haih...da 3 kali tgk muvie tu pn i still nanges beriya..we slept at 4am..and i bgn lmbt gler..kul11.30am..fuuuhh..ngamok ibu coz ktorg lmbt nk visit fadhli at ALAM SHAH..huhu..took Aness along wit me since dia stay umah uncle dia..so she spent a nit at my hostel..br je balik td..hehe..best lah weekend nih =D

I want a VITARA!

2009-07-16T18:21:00.004+08:00

ini yg i ske tuuu...

gooorrrrrrshh!!!..there was a day(x igt bile)....i was walking bck to hostel...then..i saw IT...IT was so handsome!!!..i immediately fell in love at first site..who knws love at first site cud be real...bila balik..i just cnt stop thinking of IT...i came to me..just like dat..in the middle of nowhere..i blurted out ''I WANT A VITARA!''...damn it feels good to say dat..d whole nite i stayed up til 4am...googling for a VITARA...i seriously want one!!..check under second hand cars..i found it...still onsale by a chinese guy...siap save gamba lg...ari u i told ayah..but he sort of..masuk telinga kanan kuar telinga kiri...haih...y wont he take me seriously??...anyways...i imagined my new car in bright red..or extremely hot purplish maroon...haihssss pure howtness!!!

Dianne will stop man-hunting!

2009-07-13T13:37:00.002+08:00

Last nite i made a new resolution...im gonna stop finding love..and let it come slowly..since small i dreamt of having a fairytale love story...since i found out dat its all bulls***..i decided to turn a NEW chapter..im going single and i dun care!!..muahaha..NO more flirting..NO more checking out guys...im gonna focus more on studies..

today is my first day of repenting..im also trying to curb my appetite of swearing..during math class td..i was focused and determined..it felt really good..i finally understnd wat im learning(forgve me prof.)...and made new friends wit d nerds...cool nerds..i neglected those stares n smiles..n i was a changed person..i felt it...i was on d ground!...im gonna be a bookworm sket..da buat deal ngan gigon mlm td not to go o9 til after 11.30pm..gotta score dis 1st sem to make an impression to my parents..haihssss..LOVE THE NEW ME!!

im hurt

2009-07-12T14:57:00.004+08:00

im so hurt by their(men/boys/ guys...) immediate judgement of who i am..am i dat transparent??..and GOD has been giving me dugaan yg byk all at d same time..im taking things positive..coz the more God gives u dugaan, the more He loves u..just kelmarin, perverts tried to invade my privacy..yesterday, a jerk tricked me into one of his stupid games..

dis was yesterday's story..i went to TS to meet up wit a bunch of matrx friends..we were happ to see each other..but wat excited me was i met my crush..the one i eyed before hooking up wit faizal..he was so nice to me yesterday..paid fr my lunch n train tickets..i agree to separate wit the crowd n joined him to watch ice age tgether..my mistake was..i knew he had a gf..but he told me it wsnt going so well since they hv been into a lot of arguemnts lately..when he said dat, hati ku berbunga2..so we walked tgether smlm..talked alot..avoid matrx crowd..unexpectedly he hold my hands..smiled..my God was i dreaming????..rupenye tidak coz bila check my wallet,sy benar2 tiada duit!!..so ptg tu, he walked me bck to lrt sttn..he kissed my forehead!!!!!! OMG..OMG..OMG!!.........i almost pengsan...Ya Allah..x dpt ku halang perkara itu!..i was blushing n smiling all the way bck to cyber..tday, dis morning arnd 8 am..he texted..''Dayan, miss u!''..haihhhhhh.....suke nye hati ini.......i cm teringat zaman2 berpacaran dlu..tp i didnt reply coz ngantok sgt..at 11.00am..after bangun..i called him..niat dlm hati nk ckp sorry coz x reply msg..tp when he picked up..i x sempat ckp pe2 lg..he said "Eer..dayan i ngan awek i ni..jgn call or msg tau..t if i msg dulu baru u can reply k.."..i quickly ended the call..almost campak my phone..nasib bek i was still waras...WTF!!!...my goodness!.. mamat tu mmg x tau nk appreciate seorang perempuan lah..samapi hati dia..dia ingat i ni perempuan simpanan dia ke????....dah la eja my name salah..its D.I.A.N.N.E!!!!!!!!NOT DAYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!Ya Allah..dugaan jenis apakah ini??..i was stoned skejap..lost of words to describe hw i felt at dat moment..hanya Tuhan yg memahami isi hati ku ini.................................................................................

fuck off assholes!!!

2009-07-11T00:45:00.003+08:00

shit! i just dun understand guys who just have the word 'sex' on their minds...no..no..dun get me wrong i dun mind jokes abt sex..i mean its normal rite..d ones dat are not normal is when they say ''shit i feel so horny talking to u like dis''...duurhhh...WHAT THE FUCK!!!..gile pe...hv some respect larh..im a girl..n then if i say no...automatic jd ''erm..oh i bz la, gtg la..bye''..babi gle..diorg igt i ni pe..pemuas nafsu mereka?? i've got my own pride n dignity k! and ada gk yg budget dia hot n cute(mmg pn) leh lg ckp ''show me sumtin hot''...''g la tukar baju yg lagi sexy''..buzz off fuckers!!!!i may not be the angelic type but im also not satan's daughter! gosh!! im just freaking pissed rite nw!! a.khairul kata just lay it off, they are assholes..mmg pn! ASSHOLES!!

kenapa?

2009-07-10T13:56:00.009+08:00

i've got questions yg sgt mencelaru fikiran ini..

kenapa guys susah sgt nk paham perempuan?
kalau permpuan tu da merajuk..pujuk lah! bukan diam kn diri tggu girl tu cool off!

kenapa org yg beriya berkenalan tetapi tiada susulan?
amek phne number,cll tengah2 mlm..tp bila jmpa wat bodo..siyal!

why do we love someone so much tp we let go ef them?
...............

kenapa perempuan ske sgt shopping?
Gorrrrrrssh! nmpk ini, nak, nampak itu,nk...x leh nk kawal perasaan betol..

kenapa sesetengah lelaki kene tggu perempuan approach?
depa ingt pompuan ni apa?? x gentlemen lgsg..budget pemalu la sgt, hot la sgt..sialan..

why do guys just dont get it?
senyuman berbalas mesra..rajin txtg..dicari bila perlu..x sengaja manja..durrhh...hw can girls make it more obvious?? its freaking obvious dat we da fall head over heels for u! assholes!

kenapa parents susah nk faham perbelanjaan anak?
kami bukan shopping semata2..kne hidup..makan minum..photostat..duit tol,minyak..bla..bla..

kenapa org yg kita suka x semestinye suka kita balik?
haihhssssssssssssssssssss..........................melainkn dia da ada gf

kenapa aku ni malas sgt?
ermm..x tau cne explain..pnjg sgt...malas

kenapa kita rindu org yang x rindu kita?
igt senang ke nk kawal perasaan ini...

kenapa ego lelaki ini tinggi sgt?
kalau dah rndu tu msg je la! x payah la cover2..

kenapa oleh kerana seorg jantan, persahabatan terabai?
i've seen dis happen many times..unconciously been thru it..babi

kenapa mostly lelaki hot2 gay dan perempuan cun2 lesbian?
cant u just stick to fitrah alam? kesian lelaki dan perempuan normal di luar sana..

kenapa lelaki suka perempuan hot2 ,keding n cun2 je?
kalau hensem gk x pe la kot..ni muka cm tongkang pecah..ada hati...kata cinta itu buta!

hmmmmmmmmmm....itu la yg mengganggu fikiran i skg..kenapa la i ni byk berfikir?

tolong lah dun make it worse!

2009-07-06T16:23:00.002+08:00

As usual i wud start my day by getting up early..go to class..blaja2..then balik..then lepak2..trying to be as bz so i cn forget all my probs..tp...........today i unexpectedlt recieved a msg fr an unknown number..it wrote "Ta mkn buah ok gk syg tp jgn lak nt mkn durian campur rmbutan lg ye syg..Luv u ta u r my evryting syg. Cnt live witout u by my side. Mis u a lot 2" .. i was like WTF????? mamat nih salah antar msg..babi..i replied saying dat dia salah num..he said sorry..tp still!!! ur sorry wont mend my broken heart! Ow My Gosh! Those are d words i've been wanting to hear n yet i recieve it frm an unknown yg tersilap hantar msg!!!...aaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

tetibe hr ni cm photogenic

2009-07-05T21:29:00.004+08:00

sumpah i love dis pics..............................!!!!!

im not alone..im just lonely

2009-07-05T00:30:00.002+08:00

everytime i thot i got over it..i just dont..only i make myself believe dat it is over..but its too bitter to swallow..ppl tell me i must move on..i shud n i must..only dat im still hurt..and its as if it wont go away..we cnt just erase memories..it stays..but we do have a choice..to let go is one of it..but y cant i seem to be doing so?..y is it haunting my life?..maybe its not about 'him'...but d memories i had with 'him'..i knw i da wrote a blog to burry my memories..its not working as hw it shud..there are some things i wish to only share with d special one..but i hv to keep it to myself fr nw..and its killing me not having the excitement of sharing..

dear GOD..please let me move on..please let me enjoy the sweetness of life around ppl who love n care fr me..give me the strength to deal with my past..to let go n to never look bck..

confused with myself or making me confuse?

2009-07-03T18:20:00.003+08:00

gosh! br 2 mggu start kat MMU ni i da nk gatal..haihh..btw k.ellyne once told me..one day u'll hv a guy who will stare at u d way faizal stares at his crushes..and kemasinan mulut dia sgt benar..there's dis one guy i notice..he stares..but not the freaky stare..just myGod-she's-so-beautiful stare( mak aih perasan lak ak nih..) tp seriously..we hv just started being friends..he, just like me hv just gone out of a first time relationshp..he's nice helped me thru dis loan im trying to get..tp i pn x tau..is dis right?..i mean we do not flirt or hang out tgether or wat..just chatting on ym n sometimes,if its important,he'l call..everything has a reason..loans,classes..cume during d serious biz, we sempat chat bout life,family n studies..which is considered no harm done..its just dat we both just got out of a serious relationshp..and.......if anything happens............aih ape la aku merepek nih..adoyai..i shud be moving on..but not dis fast....takot...cuak.....tp suke...gedik siyal aku nih!

uurghhh...

2009-07-03T14:39:00.000+08:00

tadi i got scolded by ayah.....in front of everyone!!!!!!!!!!! malu hell..the reason was coz i didnt photostat a copy of my borang MARA....aihhhhh...............feeling so fucked up rite nw!!

let memories be barried in this blog..

2009-07-02T19:34:00.006+08:00

some people say 'dun cry becoz its over but smile coz it happened' n dats exactly wat im gonna do!..tday i'll write all d fun n sweet moments i had wit him n bury it in dis post and to move on n never look bck..

i remembered the first time we met, we hvg our audition fr KAKOM..i remembered u as a great dancer..we introduced ourselves..u str8 clled me dianne..it was as if u knw me alrdy..i really wanted to b ur fren..when i see u being bullied in d lecture hall i spoke to myself ''rasa cm nk dia duk sbelah me je''..we became gud friends after dat..evry where we go it was Faizal n Dianne..we were best friends..we'd play while d lecturer is talking..and i always bck u up bila u escape class..''diyana! faizal mana??'' haih..dat was common..then one day u didnt cme for a week,,i was freakn worried..i called so many times, at last u answered..u were crying..u told me ur mom was sick..i cnt help but to feel sorrry fr u..tears strolled dwn my eyes..u asked y i was crying i said ''if u quit, i nk kawan ngan spe?''...u stopped crying n pujuk me not to cry..we ended up laughing tgether..ad lak one day pn.zuraidah clled me to her cubicle..i da cuak gle..my quiz terok sgt ke??? tau x wat she said? she asked me ''npe result faizal teruk sgt nih??'' '' mana sy tau ckgu..'' ''x pernah2 dia dpt C n D ni..dia ok x?''..gosh! i didnt knw u were so smart in Chem..u nvr told me bout ur results.. to look bck..i nvr thot we could go dis far..we were best friends..tp lama2 i just cudnt live without u..not hearing ur voice fr a day would kill me..i started to flirt wit u..u were freaked out, u bcked urself away frm me..i understood well..u werent ready..feeling confused n unsure ..u asked me y am i treating u so nice..i told u i liked u,more than just a friend..u cried..i knw y u were crying..u were scared..still hurt by ur past..after we declared ourselves as a couple..u sang me a song thru d phne UNBREAKABLE by Westlife..we officially made it our song..
after a huge one month break up due to stupid reasons...we got bck tgether..just in time fr ur bday..i took u out fr an outing..we watched our 1st mvie tgether THE INTERNATIONAL..dat was d first time u reached out to hold my hands..i was touched..our relationshp grew stronger..i still hv the imagination of staring into ur eyes..frm JJ to matrx,in the bus..i looked at u without hesitation, just to take a memory picture of u.. u had beautiful pair of eyes,batting lashes..blushed by my action..u turned away..i bought u a sweater fr ur bday..it was brown wit a checkered hood

b4 exm..ada KAKOM nye dnnr..we had a small fight..i clled u BABI..i werent mad..instead u gave me a white flower..it was vry sweet..

we used to exchange notes n posters..there was one letter u gave me b4 matrx ended..the end of the letter had a signature with words after it it says FAIZAL SAYANG DIYANA..i still keep it..

after matrx..we were apart fr one month..lastly u cme to kl fr ur interview..after ur intrvw..i insisted u datang ts coz i was there..when i saw u i shouted ur name n ran to hug u..i rindu u sgt2 time tu i wasnt thnkg..heh..on the way bck u gave me ur first kiss on d cheek in the monorail in front of my frens..i was lost of words..it was unusual..i felt so loved there was a time u spent a nite at my place..ibu wasnt feeling well so we watched Lipstick Jungle..dat nite we spend the nite in each other arms..i felt so warm n secured.. i really wanted to stay like dat frever..before i sleep i waited fr u to sleep 1st so i cn watch u sleep...dimmed lights..sweet songs by Fern..a man i was inlove with in my arms and me in his..the atmosphere was just perfect..waking up to u beside me was beyond my expectation..

we shared such wonderful memories together..i will always remember talking to u on d phne fr hours til my bills shoot up.. having great laughs when u try to cheer me up, u always had some tricks up ur sleeves to keep me frm being mad at u..ur whispers of i love u in my ears..ur hug when i cry..ur kisses when we're tgher..i wud call 8 gorgeous guys on campus but it can nvr compare it wit a 5 mins phne call wit u.. or when we eat at fast food restaurants, u wud asingkn d tomato sos fr me..it was very sweet..u wud also be my financial consultant so i wont spend too much and if i get scolded by ayah i'd call u n whine abt it.. but dat was dulu..nw i have to learn to let go..moving on might not be easy but i stil hv to go thru it..let our memories stay here as it can never vanish frm our thoughts..

all i wanted in life was to love and be loved..goodbye sweet memories

girls weekend!!

2009-07-01T20:55:00.002+08:00

last weekend, me, sha and aness had a girly girl outing..we had loads of fun..on fri nite aness spent the nite at my place..on sat morning we met sha at times square n went shopping!!..us being girls, we shopped like mad..i spent rm170 on a long cardigan,leggings,skinny jeans,a bag, t-shirts..it was really worth it..i didnt even feel guilty bout spending money(haih..kesian ayah) ..we jalan2 arnd BB...frm times square to sungei wang to Pavillion to KLCC ....mmg kurus abes..haha kidding..tp it was all shopping shopping shopping!!

on sunday pula, picked up wahie at kepong sttn,we went to IKEA ..shopping lg weh..then we go cyber, lepak at aness's crb at Seri Kembangan..we made sandwich n vegetable soup..hehe 4 new bibiks doing work..haha..we planned for a picnic in putrajaya after visiting fadhli n mirul in ALAM SHAH..while visiting them, sha told mirul dat she's going to US soon..mirul cried..they were so close to each other,ike real sibs.. if feeel sorry for mirul..he really needed someone to tke cre of him..so dat evening..me,sha,aness,wahie n ratna(aness's hsemate) went picnic infrnt of Putrajaya Mosque beside the lake..it ws awsome! byk pics taken but sha hasnt uploaded it yet..dat nit we go tgk 17AGAIN at Alamanda it was a midnite muvie..n when we got bck we were locked outside n our car inside..gila! all d doors were closed..ktorg 5 org je...we almost cried,i mean i dunno bout them but i almost cried..huhu..lastly ada cleaner bantu kami get our way in and get to the roof top to sha's car..sedeh gle..cm pe je..jalan sne jalan sini naik tangga turun balik..haih..wat an experience..i'l upload pics later k..muahxx

kasihan dia

2009-06-26T01:36:00.002+08:00

last 2 nites, 24th june, me,peggy,dila,kai zhi n fitri went out to see TRANSFORMERS . kai zhi n fitri bought d ticks earlier, purposely bought 5 ticks so dat danny wont join us.muahaha...the movie was at midnite ......tp d downside of the story was, our seats was in the front row!! gila.. saket pinggang, saket tengkuk, saket mata..but, despite all dat..it was a damn gud movie! i fell in love wit Optimus Prime...haihsss

to my dear love,

2009-06-24T17:32:00.004+08:00

hi hw r u? tho i met u last sunday, it already feels like a year..gues i miss u so much..hoping u'll feel the same..dear, tho we r not tgether anymre, i hope nothing will ever change..i still want u to be my bestfriend..coz once upon a time dulu, u said u wudnt leave me..nw, u say we r not together, but u wont leave me n we cn still b friends..tp wat i dun understand y r u avoiding me? have i done anything wrong? u reject my calls, never reply my msgs..i shudnt feel anything abt that coz i knw we're history..but we r friends..and friends dun do d things u did to me..it hurts..i still cry once in a while, sometimes even think,where did i go wrong..maybe u miss ur old life..not having to worry if u'll break my heart,getting to flirt wit everyone,being urself without thinking dat u hv a gf..its ok..i understand..but wat i want u to knw is dat wat happened between us was real..i felt it from the bottom of my heart..i played every card i had..i wanted to make u happy..i'd take risks i wud take for just anyone..i let u into my world..we shared many thngs together..moments,feelings,food..kadang2 i terpikir, have i touched ur heart? made an impact to ur life?..i dun want to be like those who walk in n out of ur life..i wanted to be part of something important..tp until skarang i'll never know..u wudnt tell..i pray to GOD so u'll be a happy n gud person..esp spiritually..i like to see u smile doing the things u like..u thaught me hw to love someone who is the opposite of me in everyway..wtv it is..gud luck in ur upcoming life..i wish u all the best..jgn tnggal prayers..if dis mekes u happy, then im happy too

my love my heart r forever urs,

dianne GFF

ibu?

2009-06-23T20:46:00.000+08:00

saya rindu ibu saya.....nk ibu....

SIREH PULANG KE GAGANG KE-5

2009-06-22T14:39:00.008+08:00

me wit ieda
faizal n me

on friday evening 19th june, kami,dianne, jen n awi hit d road to KMPk naik kancil atas usaha jen meminjam dr rakannye..we gerak arnd 6pm since i got evening classes..to make it short lets just say we byk hilang hala tuju til we arrive Tapah arnd 10.30pm..at RnR, kami makan,smyg,lepak..then bila nk sambung perjalanan..the car smelt like metal burning..we freaked out, so we decided to stop at jen's opah's hse..we had to wait fr the mechanic lama nk mati.. so ktorg tiba di KMPk arnd 2.30am..we daftar n went to bed..

the next day 20th june, jen n awi x bangun so i joined the rest for sukaneka..gila la..ada tolak tali,where we hv to tolak instead of tarik..men bola, ikat kaki wit partner n play soccer, n galah panjang..the worst part was the ending..ktorg lawan baling tepung..tepung basah lak tu..haih..ptg was sesi SMALL TALK..i dunno wat happened coz i wasnt there(hee....) i g tgk rehearsal fr the gala nite..dat nite..guess wat i wore? kebaya! yes..budget kurus la konon..wit gold heels..i really wanted att frm 'him' dat nite..hehe..bodoh la aku nih..but wtv pn i felt pretty..dat is wat's important..dat nite ended wit ppl smiling n being happy..i enjoyed my evening..well dats the short of everything..hehe toodles~

heh..bought dis frm jusco ipoh =P

mama,me n pen

when hearts are meant to be broken

2009-06-20T17:11:00.002+08:00

i made a surprise by coming fr the alumnai gathering without early notice..it was suppose to WOW the komunities n 'him'..we reached there arnd 2am in d morning, i was so thrilled coz i'd like to meet 'him' n surprise 'him' by my presents..i made Jen stop at d hall so dat i can dash in n meet 'him'..tp i was too cuak dat i cudnt get out of the car..Jen n Awi teman me into d hall..i saw 'him' lying on d grnd having a meeting wit the commitee..i stood there like a stupid person..in his face there was a surprised reaction, but he hid it to make it not show..i felt guilty to myself for letting me bend the rules of a break-up..wat i did ws bodo..i shudnt hv went there in the 1st place..i do regret having a niat of meeting him dis weekend when i shud be having fun wit friends dat welcome my presents n wud be there fr me no matter wat..i feel really terrible rite nw.

Adoyai....!

2009-06-19T13:15:00.002+08:00

haihs...aduh...gosh...mai aih...td sy g check upu..n since time spm x dpt pape, dis time they gave me UNIVERSITI TEKNIKAL MELAKA...buat electronics, major in tele...course da chantek dh, tp....................tmpt nye...aduh...teknikal? melaka?...x mungkin...jd to mke things easier, i opt to stay in MMU..tmpt chantek,course cunn,mamat handsome(huh?????)..and ayah pn said nuttin..dia kata stay je kat MMU..yeay!!

friday..

2009-06-19T11:17:00.003+08:00

hari ni sy pakai baju kurung merah...hehe...x ramai bdak MMU pakai bj kurung tday..x pe la..its good to see fashionistas arnd..cuci mata to get fashion tips..lol...tday aness ajak lunch, tp dia x msg lg..i thunk tday is a very big deal fr me coz.....UPU result kuar tday, i'l be seeing 'him' tday,only got 1 class tday,n flashbck,td ada bdak cute tegur..hehe..they all(kmnti bestri) dont knw where am i heading t tday..except fr shimie,i told him last nite..gosh! wat am i to do?wat am i to wear? its been 2 n a half weeks since we broke it off.. thought i was gonna be ok..but then everything i do reminds me of us..i watch the curious case of benjamin button last nite,really good movie,rare..its a bit bout hw two ppl living way diff life, n having to separate coz they're future will be disoriented if they continue..mayb 'he' does hv a reason to break up..but after dat wat 'he' said really left a scar on me..im seriously hurt..ok gtg nw, aness da panggil..later yea

da ok da

2009-06-18T01:06:00.003+08:00

td ktorg da settle evrythg da..evryone had something to say..i admit,i was acting immature when i started avoiding ******..thnk goodness our real friends came to d rescue..kai zhi,fitri,siva n ong gathered us..we expressed our feelings n forgve each other,nw we're chatting again..just got bck frm hangin out at mamak td..to be honest, i salute kai zhi for handling our meeting..he n fitri,tho crazy bunch of fellas, they knw hw to value friendshp, even me myself,i dun thnk i'd think dat much for a friend,its not easy finding friend like them,they somehw remind me a lot of komuniti,biar pn life matrx da lepas,kat uni ni im blessed with caring friends.. btw i txt 'him' td..n he replied..u knw who 'him' is?..dat wud be a new chapter of my life i hv yet to reveal.............

Its hard to please everyone

2009-06-17T16:23:00.002+08:00

today classes x byk..met aness td, she also took a mara form fr me..had library nye test td..selmbe je angkat phne bila mama shfq cll..heh..rite nw i tak tau nk feel pe? td we had a conv between us friends,i got to knw 1 of them isnt cool wit me..i didnt notice,it was our OC yg notice..seriously i wudnt be feeling mad at someone if they didnt hurt me bad..one thg,i easily forgve n frget..tp hw am i suppose to say im sorry fr sumtin im not sure where i go wrong..i knw its easy to say 'alaa lepaskn je, say sorry n frget',..masalah nye he's d one yg embarassed me infrnt of evryone..n im suppose to say sorry????? haih..i may be writing like dis, tp in the end t sure i'l say sorry gk..i just like want to keep arguments too long, its not healthy..i may be manja n harsh tp its hw i am..i try my best not to hurt anyone,n so far i've been doin well..nta la..diff ppl hv diff say on things..its true wat kai zhi said ''we r human, dats y things like dis happen'' thx kai zhi..so maybe i'l cntct him later n settle out things..i sure hope i dun end up mencarut at him nnt..heh

PUSH ME TO HEAVEN!

2009-06-17T01:00:00.002+08:00

di sini sy mau kata kai zhi n fitri dah gila! mereka ajak kami peggy,vin yee, faris, danial,dila n siva tgk DRAG ME TO HELL..we just got bck frm alamnda ni..cm psycho gle..honestly i dun watch horror movies..ni dh la cte antu, at nite lak tu..at first sume cm berlagak berani..i surrendered awal2 so i got to sit beside kai zhi n peggy..they were vry protectve..evry time ada hantu they'll cover my face..haha..fitri pula asyik ambil beg tutup muka..n faris, he selubung wit his jacket even b4 the movie starts,sejuk la konon..to even go to d toilet pn i da takut skg..huhu..seriously its a good disgusting movie but i opt the end to be more exciting,instead its an anti-climax..wtv pn g la tgk if u hv d guts..muahaha...

2009-06-16T17:57:00.001+08:00

ARGGGHHHH!!!!.....br 1st day blaja n lecturer da takutkn ktorng with percentage failure la, course susah la, dwnload itu dwn load ini..n sume org cm da ada note da..aih stress..stress..gosh! hope i can make thru dis sem... =(

wah..

2009-06-16T13:40:00.003+08:00

today it was our second day studying at campus..as usual my math prof. keeps on blabbing in frnt..but then,suddenly.............came in this gorgeous,tall, hot celebrity look alike into my class..if course all d girls took notice immediately..luckly saya mengawal nafsu..he sat at 1st row..i was in 2nd, i unconciously stared at him time our prof sdg mengajar(bad example)..tp of course, its just too cuci mata, i hv no intention of going further..hehe..im so looking forward to go to math lecture again...haihssss

Komuniti Bestari

2009-06-15T23:15:00.009+08:00

tho im starting a new life here..i wont forget my kmpk life..matrx to some of us might mean nothing..tp to me it was a great experience..i met my real friends,my enemies and of course my first love(hehe...)..in kmpk we hv ds group called KOMUNITI BESTARI..meraka amat nock n x ngaku..hidup bersama mereka amatlah seronok..gelak tawa,tangis dikongsi bersama..ada yg kadang2 lupa daratan, tp biasala mnusia..hubungan antara kami x selalu disenangi ramai esp rakan2 masjid..seriously u cn nvr find friends like them..they'll be there even when d whole world is against u..nama nye bukan shj KOMUNITI BESTARI,ttp ada juga jawatan2 yg disandang oleh ahli2 nye..WAN MUSTAZLY BIN WAN MAHMUD as papa, MUHAMAD SHAFIQ BIN SHAHRUDDIN as mama, MUHAMMAD DIN BIN IBRAHIM, MUHAMMAD HASHIMI BIN UPANDI, MOHD AMRI BIN AHMAD....and sub commitees are NUR DIYANA LAMIN, NOR ATIQAH HAMSIN n NURUL SHILA MOHD YUSOF...antara aktvti kami bersama ialah

belajar bersama
bergossip
mencarut
main2
lawan bola antara kmnti

walau kami byk bermain..namun sesetengah dr kami adalah brainies...cth shimi,cik din,shlle...hehe..sekian

kali pertama..

2009-06-15T17:37:00.002+08:00

hi..dis wud be my 1st time blogging...dang! guess i've fallen into the trauma of trends..haha..hv just got into MMU n ptg ni xde class so tangan pn gatal menaip keyboard..da seminggu duk MMU nih..dpt jpna aness!!! tp beliau FACULTY OF MANAGEMENT dan sy FACULTY OF ENGINEERING..jauh..huu...cyberjy bkn de pape pn mlm2..cuci mata arnd the campus je..haih..lama2 t busan gk..malaysians,foreigners dan mak cik2 guard akan menjadi teman ku disini..i still cnt find where the washing machine is or even the ironing room..huhu...cian k.yati, aritu balik sebaldi pnuh(budget x pnah wat time kat coll dlu)..frens kat cni are vry friendly and welcoming..x byk awkward scenes happening..but here, most of the dude n dudettes cme frm freakin' rich family..kereta mahal sana sini, baju cantik dan mahal beli tanpa sale,kasut bertukar2 setiap jam..hmmm agak nye ni mungkin part of the lifestyle of the rich n famous..oh yea btw, i met dis one indonesian fella,he's not d kind u'll find tepi jalan punye,rambut hot cm lead singer click five,he's 18 n taking foundation in crtve multimedia(expected), cute gle sial..met hm just nw,his hair ws pushed to d back n seriously i x cam lgsg..n i started to wonder pehal la mamat ni pandang2, rupenye it was him n instead of saying hi,i smiled pelikly...gosh,cian dia...really guilty rite nw..huu..