hello..maaf kerna lama menyepi..dis week exm...so x o9 sgt(ceh leh caye la sgt)..hr i had to write..not coz i want to..but coz i hv to..org perempuan kalau simpan dlm hati bole mati..somethg happen last nite..kinda hit me straight in the face..maaf ini bukan gelanggang tinju tp..emosi semata..
last nite i had a chat with a great friend frm matrx dlu..we chat2..coz dia br balik dr jmpa our old friend and we tanye khabar..tiba2 i blurt out my feelings fr faizal..we all knw dat i can never be over him..atleast not in dis 7 months..dgn berat hati he told me..
beliau : Dianne i rasa its time u kne lupakan Faizal la..i tau susah..i pon pnah rasa ditinggalkn oleh
org yg kite sayang.Lately ni i tgk Faizal da byk kembali kepada asal..asyik ngan jantan je
keluar sana sini..
me : ye ke?
beliau : u tau x..dlu masa spgk5 kat kmpk..Faizal sndri bgtau i yg dia sayang u sgt sgt sgt..tp dia masih mahukan life dia dgn jantan2 lain..
tanpa sedar air mata aku da mengalir..buku computer prgmng yg aku pegang makin basah terkena air mata aku..baru mlm td aku tau perihal sbenar..selama ini aku biar fkiran melayang memikirkn hanye perkara yg positif kerna aku ditinggalkn tanpa sebab..hanya persoalan..i make myself believe dat he might not be ready and dat he's guilty of not making me happy or he's scared of being left..but i was wrong..so wrong dat caused me my entire happiness of dat day..
Faizal left me because of one selfish reason ..he wanted his gay life back..being able to be around guys who wud take him in for the nite and toss him out the next day..what kind of freedom is dat?..tukar2 pasangan evry other week..bosan dgn yg ini pergi kepada yg lain..i thot when Faizal met me..i'd be his answer to his questions in life..mahu aku bahagiakn dia..gembirakn dia selalu..buat dia bersyukur aku wujud di dunia ini..
kul 4 pagi td..i cried myself to sleep..bangun je mata bengkak..nk x nk kne bgn gk..ada exm at 9..i prayed to Allah to let me sit for my exm in peace..i txted Ibu,Mama shfq n Aty..minta mereka doa bersama..didnt txt Aness coz i knw she's sleeping(ceh,kne gk explain t dia merungut :p)..
during exam..awal2 tu susah nk focus..perut sgt sakit coz x berak..hati sgt sakit n pedih..mcm2 pikir..namun nasib iman ni kuat lg nk ketepikan nafsu dan cabaran dunia..Alhamdulillah td bole la jwb..
kesian Abu(my crush) bukan nama sebenar, dia tegur, i cm nk x nk je layan..hr ni mmg susah utk senyum..sorry everyone..didnt mean to act so sour :(
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darling, be tough!!
"sesungguhnya, barangsiapa yang meninggalkan kamu, maka matanya perlu dipulihkan dan hatinya telah dibutakan kerana dia telah meninggalkan sesuata yang amat bernilai"
ceh,nak jugak buat hadith sendiri.hahaha.no matter what, do remember, im always wit u tau?jangan buat bende tak patut utk org yg tak appreciate kita.ingat tu:)
p/s: besok i bangun awal;)
ok sayang..thx..tmrw kite sama2 exm..makan tgether jom..jgn lupa hug i :(
BABES, miss u both!
dianne darling, get up get up!this is not u!
u are wayyyyyyyyyyyyy tough than this!
i love you,so pls...be strong cuz i'm so glad if u do!
thanx sha sayang..i dunno laa..moons hv passed..but i just dun feel strong enuf..down heck
Hohoho, faizal kmpk??
Skang dia kat UKM, ha'ah, skang lagi teruk dari dulu, faham2 je la kalau dah masuk U, lagi bebas..
Tapi saya nak nasihatkan anda bersabar bnyk2, gpon ramai ag laki sejati atas dunia ni, yang baik2, yang alim ulama, bleh tahan nak cari.. eh2, dah jadi khutbah plak.. haha
anonymous, boleh sy tau siapa awk?
we will know the RIGHT one, when we know the WRONG one. so, stand for yourself. yesterday is the past, tomorrow is mystery, but today is a gift. that's y we called it 'present'. so, have ur life back kiddo! ^_^ forget the past. when u put it away, then u will c byk lagi yg blum u discover lg.so,grab it! \\(^_^)//
heyp, its ok dianne. if we know which is the WRONG one, then we will know d RIGHT one,ok? stand up babe, yestrdy is the past, 2morow is mystery, but today is a gift, thats y it called "present", so, open ur eyes,live your life!! yeah2! miss u ^_^