denial of the truth
Sunday, May 30, 2010
at
5/30/2010 06:57:00 AM
today i was accused of something impossible.i was stunned.how could they think such nonsense?or is it me who is trying to deny the truth?i couldnt answer when they asked.in a sinful manner,i lied.mygosh!y cudnt i just tell the truth?i cud have nddded when they asked.instead i gave the opposite.pity me.lost in my own world of denial.im not sure myself when i will confront them with the truth.i feel like this ego and over confident me is controlling my thoughts at the very minute of the question.but u cant blame me out of all this.im innocent too.i cant figure out whether the truth is real or not or just me satisfying my own needs.my selfish and insecure behaviour left me with thousands on questions in my head.throughout the whole conv i kept my cool.preventing myself from spilling the beans.the secret im keeping might just ruin my life,worse,somebdy elses.but i wasnt worried abt the others,i was more worried abt me.so i took the courage to lie straight to their faces.thnk goodness they were shallow enough to buy my words.fuuhhh..what a relief.im not guilty.better,i shudnt feel guilty.i told a lie that could save lives.a lie that is so important that i forbid myself frm telling the truth.the secret im keeping now is not heavy.just difficult.smeday,if the truth is ever revealed,then we will know.that it is the end of life as we know it :)
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