if i like u so much.Why cant i write a poem for you?
Could it be that u r not the One?
the hardest part of all..
Friday, October 8, 2010
at
10/08/2010 11:53:00 PM
yes it was hard.i thnk to everyone pun it is hard.saying goodbye.not as easy as it sounds.i've been saying good bye a lot since i can recall.but usually its when they leave me.but this time it was different.i decided to leave.i didnt know why i made the decesion to leave.especially to leave someone who made a difference to my life.you were there when no one else was.u know how difficult it is to be part of my life.but u tried.now that we're so close, i become insecure of my own feelings.i just know that someday someone will get hurt.and i dont want that to happen.and so i opt to say goodbye now.its the only way to reduce the pain in future.now that im on a holiday break.it gives me time n space to think that life is not just about fun and games.im a grown woman now.i shall think of wats good for me and my family.hal keduniaan can wait.selesaikn hal yg memerlukan kita di akhirat sana nanti.
ps: i hope i'l do just fine.
ps: i hope i'l do just fine.
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fear
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
at
7/21/2010 03:49:00 AM
"fear is when u do not know what u want"
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dear guy,
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
at
7/14/2010 09:23:00 PM
i am confused.irritated.vulnerable.
please dont hurt me :(
girl
please dont hurt me :(
girl
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im not a boy :(
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
at
6/30/2010 11:46:00 PM
lately i've been very2 bz with dragonboat,assignmnts and classes.hmm.why this entry? dgr ini cerita dulu...
LOKASI: cafe HB1
lelakiA : dianne, bila u nk ada boyfriend huh? i nk gk duhh tgk siapa boyfriend u nanti.
dianne : (diam seribu bahasa :s)
lelakiB : agak ah! u slalu lepak dgn lelaki2 tp x ada boyfriend.apa barang?
dianne : (dah x tau nk pk ape dah)
lelakiA: oh lupa, u kan lelaki mana main boyfriend2 nih.(gelak cm setan)
dianne :(dalam hati bermonolog kata2 sedih utk diri sendiri (hampir nangis juga))
.....................hmm.....kn....sakit kan dgr.sakit lagi yg merasai.cuba define sikit Diyana Lamin mcm mana.Diyana=rambut panjang+manja+gedik+suka baju bunga2. x cukup perempuan kah itu?masalahnya yg menjadi issue kpd jantan2 x guna ini ialah.Dianne=gelak kuat2+mencarut+lepak ngan lelaki. =.=' .bodoh.if its just these two guys yg ckp cmtu kesah la.ini.ramai pula la kn.
dgr cerita ni lak.
LOKASI: library
dianne:eh Ali(bukan nama sebenar), mana girl yg u slalu stdy sama tuh.(nada bergurau)
Ali:mana ada!eh, u tau x nama dia nk sama ngan nama roomate i.
dianne:eeee.gila gay u!
Ali:mana ada i gay.i nk usha u sorg je kot.eh, lupa u kan lelaki.kira gay la i ni kn.
dianne:BODOH!(sambil angkat kening ziana zain)
see.dis people are treating me as if im a boy.Ya Ampun.diri ku selembut2 perempuan tau x.
ok2.listen to this lak.
LOKASI : TEPI TASIK (DRAGONBOAT TRAINING)
Abu(bukan nama sebenar) :pergh! dianne da ada six packs duhh!da mcm Malek Noor aku tgk.
dianne:ahaha! i x la sehebat u kan Abu.
Abu:mana ada.u skali row nk terbalik boat kot!
dianne:very funny Abu!
hmm.cant say much dah.i cant stop them from saying that.dah dorg pk cmtu.nk wat cne :(
anyways.those who know me well will know how much of a girl i am :)
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denial of the truth 2
Sunday, May 30, 2010
at
5/30/2010 05:27:00 PM
aaaaarrrgghhhhh!!its weird weird weird.now i cant even look at their faces.its a good thg i got this page to release my sufferings.dun thnk i can go on with them anormally anymre.what started as a joke was taken seriously by them.why cant they just play along? is it so hard? ek eleh tetibe nk emo2.padahal dorg cool je.ak yg emo lebih ni.its distructing my attention and total behaviour.damn it!no no no.i cant be this weak.or can i? aih!i made a promise to them,i almost broke it.maybe i did.but i manage to fool them and continue with the rest of the plan.haaa.nk tau plan? no no no.x bole xbole.wtv it is.i hope my emotions does not affect my work.i've been doing good all this while. i cant let sumthg small get in my way.but what's bothering me is that.what are they thinking.they?him?her?should i make a conv trying to solve it?let them know how i felt abt this.eh tak boleh.nanti disyaki apa2.hmm.play cool?uneasy lah.omg omg omg!im stuck!stuck in what?i dunno.smebdy pls.anybdy pls.please dont bring it up anymre.
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denial of the truth
today i was accused of something impossible.i was stunned.how could they think such nonsense?or is it me who is trying to deny the truth?i couldnt answer when they asked.in a sinful manner,i lied.mygosh!y cudnt i just tell the truth?i cud have nddded when they asked.instead i gave the opposite.pity me.lost in my own world of denial.im not sure myself when i will confront them with the truth.i feel like this ego and over confident me is controlling my thoughts at the very minute of the question.but u cant blame me out of all this.im innocent too.i cant figure out whether the truth is real or not or just me satisfying my own needs.my selfish and insecure behaviour left me with thousands on questions in my head.throughout the whole conv i kept my cool.preventing myself from spilling the beans.the secret im keeping might just ruin my life,worse,somebdy elses.but i wasnt worried abt the others,i was more worried abt me.so i took the courage to lie straight to their faces.thnk goodness they were shallow enough to buy my words.fuuhhh..what a relief.im not guilty.better,i shudnt feel guilty.i told a lie that could save lives.a lie that is so important that i forbid myself frm telling the truth.the secret im keeping now is not heavy.just difficult.smeday,if the truth is ever revealed,then we will know.that it is the end of life as we know it :)
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*oh
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
at
5/26/2010 11:05:00 PM
have this crazy urge to talk.but we have been doing that a lil too much dis week.sweet weekend hotness ;)
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untitled
Saturday, May 15, 2010
at
5/15/2010 04:57:00 AM
" i miss watching u fall asleep then waking up next to you"
:)
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one year,the beginning of growing up
yes now it has been one year since i entered the so overrated uni life.haha.many things has happened along the way.i learned a lot from my mistakes and also others.the dramas.the conflicts.the scandals.the love.the lust.but most important,the friends.we gain some and lose some.but dats how life is.anythg that happens has hikmahs behind it.experience is the best teacher.needless to say i have done many things some of which im not proud of.but as humans we make mistakes.im no super human.in life we search for truth and honesty.getting lost along the path is part of growing up.and yes, i guess im prepared to grow up.im not a little girl anymre.no time to depend on someone to look after me.tried.but forget it.who's gonna?rite?once u've fell down,u've got no where to go but up.get up.by urself.u dun need others to comfort u.others to make u feel accepted.others for u to respect urself.it all comes from ur inner self.if u are not content with urself.how can others be?im making promises to myself.hoping wont cheat myself.hard to say i'l be honest.but if im not gonna do it for me.who will?since i was small i always work on being a better person.i read motivational books since i was in primary school.joined the debate team in secondary school as i find fighting for my rights is the best way to find myself.such young mind of mine was thaught that being superior was the best life that anyone cud ever lead.somehow,life thaught me that its ok to be wrong once in a while.u just have to correct ur mistakes and move on.and now that im going on my second year in uni, im excited to know what life awaits....
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dzulfadhli lamin
Friday, May 14, 2010
at
5/14/2010 03:05:00 AM
itu nama di beri.byk nama dia kat dunia ni.dzul.fadhli.mookie.blanc.aish.ngada tol bdak kecil tuh.damn.i still cant accept the fact dat he has finished school.driving my dads car.and lives life to the fullest.im browsing thru his itunes n collections of movies ni.mmg inspired tgk cara bdak ni idup.i mean bukan dia la.the things he loves.hmm....
"fadhli, i miss u so much okayh.y arent u at home when i am? :("
"fadhli, i miss u so much okayh.y arent u at home when i am? :("
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mungkin hanya alasan
Thursday, May 13, 2010
at
5/13/2010 03:08:00 AM
tidak perlu reason.tidak perlu kata kata.hanya alasan.pulang awal.tidak ada kerja.alasan ke?mungkin.siapa tahu.cud be that i hate goodbyes.or the end of everythg.maybe i hate being caught up in a drama.so the only escape i have is to cme home.to my family.meet my angels.but i love my friends.i'l be there for them no matter what.but right now,i just need to come home.let those whom i dun want to see miss me.muahahah :D
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dianne, r u afraid of being alone?
Saturday, May 1, 2010
at
5/01/2010 08:35:00 PM
wah! i myself have never dare to ask myself this.coz sometimes we wish not to know the truth in our lives.somehw there's a friend out there who cares about my being asked me this a few days ago.i was quite dumbfounded there.dont really knw how to answer the q.tho did thought abt it but nvr cared to prolong the thoughts. the answer to this q might be the reason for my tears all this while.my greatest fear.the fear of being lonely.being alone and being lonely is two big difference.alone is when u sit in ur room sorg2.be it ur roomate balik or ur family sume da masuk tdur.but being lonely.MYGOSH! typing the word itself scares me.lonely is when u're alone and u have no one to turn to.ur world fills itself with emptiness.i had my years of being lonely time skolah rendah dulu.never had that many friends.dun even wish to have pn.ala2 cm dlm muvie,i'd be in the nerds group time skola.haha.but as i grow up, i am more exposed to the world.finally i know how the world spins. and life wasnt that boring.i make new friends each day.but most of the time i blew the new bonds.guess im just not a long-term kinda person.but i was never lonely or alone.i'd always have friends.but lightning strucked my fate.i once lost a person whom i thot meant the world to me.back then. i felt like dieing.i wasnt alone but i was lonely.yes, i do know how it feels to be lonely. but i cudnt blame anyone.so i blamed myself n promise not to make such stupid mistake like that.so to answer the q.no, im not afraid of being alone.but im afraid of feeling lonely.now.aness is leaving.sanie is leaving.azri is leaving.dayat is leaving.sol is leaving.thnk god reena is still arnd.and all my other friends :D thank u GOD for blessing me with such great friends :)
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peh.fuuhhh.perghh
Thursday, April 22, 2010
at
4/22/2010 08:41:00 AM
BAIK AKU GOOGLE GAMBA POMPUAN2 CANTIK DRPD TULIS BLOG EMO! ;)
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manusia x pernah rasa puas
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
at
4/20/2010 02:02:00 AM
hey kids.hmm as usual i only update my blog when sumtin bothers me.haih.susah nk ckp.rite now im in the middle of sumtin i dun want to care.but i have to.kerana memutuskan silatirrahim itu adalah berdosa.cant say its not my fault 100% coz not everyone is perfect.life is as it is.recently a friend of mine made a nasty judgment of me without confronting me or make a bckgrnd check first.i seriously do not appreciate this.thank goodness those who knows the truth supported me in so many ways.but this person, just refuse to evn meet me.truth be told i want to settle this once and for all.but smehw i jadi malas.kerna perkaranya remeh.seolah2 budak2 yg berperangai tidak matang.salahkah jika i buat bodoh?salah je sebenarnye.haih.manusia manusia. x bolehkah kau berkongsi kegembiraan dgn org lain daripada berdengki dan membenci? wtv.i'l try to settle this asap.
ps: btw,life is at its fullest rite now.Alhamdulillah.will tell u abt it later :)
ps: btw,life is at its fullest rite now.Alhamdulillah.will tell u abt it later :)
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:)
Friday, April 9, 2010
at
4/09/2010 09:55:00 PM
i know sometimes annoy u. but i cant help it when i miss u.
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twisted love
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
at
3/31/2010 07:13:00 AM
twisted love is basically kind of....twisted.haha.we like but we hate.we care but we dont.we miss but we ditch.we dont tell but we know.we text but we dun expect a reply.we show ourselves in public but we go play hide n seek.we talk but we curse each other more than we talk.we never ever say 'i love u'.it'll ruin the whole twisted thing.we dun camwhore.we spend time tgether but we'll forget abt it.we pay for each others' drink but we never buy each other anythg.we sleep tgether but we never go on a date.we hate the fact that there's a we in this twisted relationshp.we tend to keep quiet when we should say somethg.we kiss each other on the cheek but we never hold hands.we never say 'thank u' unless we mean it.we never really mean what we say.we never expect anythg from each other.we touch and we touch some more.we are not friends and we are not enemies.we are just two living beings stuck in a twisted relationshp. :D
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coz im strong enough
Monday, March 29, 2010
at
3/29/2010 06:59:00 AM
i know i am strong enough..
- to be content with myself
- to make me happy by my own
- to live my life to the fullest everyday
- to live for my future,guided by my past
- to be there when somebdy needs me
- to love the people around me
- to take challenges
- to be sad
- to cry for u
- to long for u
- to cling to u
- to let u go
and i prsy every single day for God to let me live this life under His Kerahmatan n Keberkatan.amin :)
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cant say i like u,but i do adore ur way of living
Monday, March 22, 2010
at
3/22/2010 05:22:00 AM
dear you,
haih.i feel like saying this to u personally.tp i cant.x mau u poyo lebih.and x mau u pk dianne poyo pulak.haha.i may mean nothing to u.but u definitely mean something to me.dianne pk, im just a girl yg u lepak with,malas nk layan kadang2,hanya cari bila perlu.but i dun really care.i prefer it that way.kadang2 la.kdg2 u annoy me jugk.esp when u reply my txt pendek2.hesh.tp to me, u r like a brother,a lover, a friend. i like to listen when u talk.its as if u had a long life befre and telling me ur experiences n such.padahal.sama je life u dgn org lain.cuma,maybe it came frm u.lain dari semua orang.u chill a lot.i mean really a lot.u dun care what other thinks.as long as u're fine with urself n get to move on with life.reminds me a lot of my dad.and to u, ur parents and ur academic are ur priorities.u play safe a lot.i can tell on how u handle things.be it academic,scandals and money.but u still get to mingle and not lose out on ur social life.u ignore me too much that some times i dun mind finding u.tho its not how im suppose to function.eh, tp jgn pk yg bukan2.im not inlove with u.but i feel like i need a person like u in my life.to sedarkn where i went wrong and what i shud do.like i said ,coz u chill.i still remember when u said "npe nk buat bnda senang jd complicated?".itu adalah benar.i'l hold on to that.so when u told me that our secret rendevous shud be stopped.i cm down.not because i dun get to do things with u *ada la sket sbenarnye*.but i'll miss listening to u.ur views.ur future plannings.just everything u want to do.i get a lot from 2-3 hours of spending time with u.hmm.i may be wrong in making u as an example in my life.tp i believe in what i believe.thank you so much for making me ur friend.i'll miss u.a lot.just hope soon we'll meet again.*hugs*
sincerely, Dianne.
haih.i feel like saying this to u personally.tp i cant.x mau u poyo lebih.and x mau u pk dianne poyo pulak.haha.i may mean nothing to u.but u definitely mean something to me.dianne pk, im just a girl yg u lepak with,malas nk layan kadang2,hanya cari bila perlu.but i dun really care.i prefer it that way.kadang2 la.kdg2 u annoy me jugk.esp when u reply my txt pendek2.hesh.tp to me, u r like a brother,a lover, a friend. i like to listen when u talk.its as if u had a long life befre and telling me ur experiences n such.padahal.sama je life u dgn org lain.cuma,maybe it came frm u.lain dari semua orang.u chill a lot.i mean really a lot.u dun care what other thinks.as long as u're fine with urself n get to move on with life.reminds me a lot of my dad.and to u, ur parents and ur academic are ur priorities.u play safe a lot.i can tell on how u handle things.be it academic,scandals and money.but u still get to mingle and not lose out on ur social life.u ignore me too much that some times i dun mind finding u.tho its not how im suppose to function.eh, tp jgn pk yg bukan2.im not inlove with u.but i feel like i need a person like u in my life.to sedarkn where i went wrong and what i shud do.like i said ,coz u chill.i still remember when u said "npe nk buat bnda senang jd complicated?".itu adalah benar.i'l hold on to that.so when u told me that our secret rendevous shud be stopped.i cm down.not because i dun get to do things with u *ada la sket sbenarnye*.but i'll miss listening to u.ur views.ur future plannings.just everything u want to do.i get a lot from 2-3 hours of spending time with u.hmm.i may be wrong in making u as an example in my life.tp i believe in what i believe.thank you so much for making me ur friend.i'll miss u.a lot.just hope soon we'll meet again.*hugs*
sincerely, Dianne.
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i miss being ms.nerd
Thursday, March 18, 2010
at
3/18/2010 06:51:00 AM
story of my life. searching for the truth.but it keeps avoiding me.haha.merepek.
haih....yes i do miss being ms.nerd.at one point of my 20 years of living,i was devoted to my books.academic books,bukan comics.tp nw,dugaan dunia ini menggugat iman dan fikiran ku.adoyai! manusia mmg lemah. oh diri, kemana kau hanyut? dahulu,bukulah sumber kehidupanku.bukulah teman setiaku.x pernah mengecewakn ku.sentiasa ada walau dirinya tak diusik.walau dirinya di stack2 byk2.walau dirinya hanya dimenungkan.sungguh sabar buku2 ini dgnku.x pernah complain.x pernah marah.hanya menunggu aku.setia sungguh buku2 pada ku. cuma aku yg lalai. aku yg lupa.aku yg mengecewakn.tp mungkin,hari ini,esok atau lusa,akan ku jenguk2 dirimu wahai buku.akan ku temani malam mu.akan ku ceriakn siang mu.akan ku kembali pada hidup lama ku bersama mu. tunggulah aku buku.sesungguh nya hanya dirimu yg bisa mengubah pemikiran dan gaya hidupku. buku, sunyi pemikiran intelektualku tanpa mu. sekarang aku hanya boleh merepek tanpa isi.gamble je apa yg perlu.dahsyat perangai ku sekarang. usah khuatir buku. akan ku sianri hidup mu dgn kerajinan ku.tunggu lah aku buku.tunggu k.jgn lari :)
haih....yes i do miss being ms.nerd.at one point of my 20 years of living,i was devoted to my books.academic books,bukan comics.tp nw,dugaan dunia ini menggugat iman dan fikiran ku.adoyai! manusia mmg lemah. oh diri, kemana kau hanyut? dahulu,bukulah sumber kehidupanku.bukulah teman setiaku.x pernah mengecewakn ku.sentiasa ada walau dirinya tak diusik.walau dirinya di stack2 byk2.walau dirinya hanya dimenungkan.sungguh sabar buku2 ini dgnku.x pernah complain.x pernah marah.hanya menunggu aku.setia sungguh buku2 pada ku. cuma aku yg lalai. aku yg lupa.aku yg mengecewakn.tp mungkin,hari ini,esok atau lusa,akan ku jenguk2 dirimu wahai buku.akan ku temani malam mu.akan ku ceriakn siang mu.akan ku kembali pada hidup lama ku bersama mu. tunggulah aku buku.sesungguh nya hanya dirimu yg bisa mengubah pemikiran dan gaya hidupku. buku, sunyi pemikiran intelektualku tanpa mu. sekarang aku hanya boleh merepek tanpa isi.gamble je apa yg perlu.dahsyat perangai ku sekarang. usah khuatir buku. akan ku sianri hidup mu dgn kerajinan ku.tunggu lah aku buku.tunggu k.jgn lari :)
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buang masa!
Friday, March 5, 2010
at
3/05/2010 04:42:00 PM
hish! pissed gila! aku sakit perut nk mampus td..tinggal kan dunia ini utk berkejar2 ke tandas berhampiran. byk kekangan yg ku lalui.hujan.tutup tingkap.kunci ilang.tp aku sanggup bekerja mcm lipas kudung.tp setelah masuk tandas.kejap je.pastu dah! cis, aku bekerja keras utk seketul taik! buang masa betul :s
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soal hati dan keikhlasan
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
at
3/03/2010 04:53:00 PM
hati kecil ku berdetik, "bilakah engkau akan menjadi lebih serius dlm hidup mu?" "sehingga bilakah engkau akan manjahilkan diri mu ini?". ya Tuhan, maafkan daku atas segala dosa yg ku lakukan selama ini. iya, manusia berubah. ada yg baik ke jahat dan ada yg jahat ke baik. tetapi acapkali diri ini membuat kebaikan,beribu persoalan yg timbul. betulkah ini? ikhlaskah aku? teruk ke aku? baik ke aku? riak ke aku? dan byk lagi. tp selemah2 diri ini, aku juga tidak lupa akan asal usul ku.kot. aduhai. mengapa lah aku begitu dungu kala timbul nye soalan2 itu. gelap sgt kah hati ku utk membuat kebaikan. sesungguh nya duniawi ini satu ujian yg diberi Tuhan bagi menilai ketaatan kita kepadaNya. secara jujur, tidak ada alasan utk seorg manusia itu utk tidak membuat kebaikan. nak, seribu daya kan? ku akui aku sering alpa ketika diri menemui hiburan duniawi. tindakan ku salah. tp setelah membuat nya, aku terfikir sebentar, dan fikiran itu hilang tiba2 bak asap yg ditiup angin. teringat ku akan kata2 ustazah sewaktu ku bersekolah dulu "hidayah ini bukan dtg dgn sendiri.kita harus mencari hidayah Allah.sehingga Allah memberinya kepada kita. dan sekiranya kita tidak menggunakan hidayah itu dgn baik. nanti Allah tarik balik."
hmm.aku cuba.berjaya atau tidak,itu lain cerita. tapi aku akan cuba. bermula drpd perkara yg kecil ke yg besar.doakn yg terbaik utk ku ye rakan2. :)
hmm.aku cuba.berjaya atau tidak,itu lain cerita. tapi aku akan cuba. bermula drpd perkara yg kecil ke yg besar.doakn yg terbaik utk ku ye rakan2. :)
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it's nice to feel special
Thursday, February 18, 2010
at
2/18/2010 12:56:00 AM
yesterday was nice. a long drive through the night. laughing and sharing thoughts. and yes i was with a He. he took me out to feed each others' loneliness. sadly he meant nothing to me as i were to him. but it was special. maybe it is because he doesnt do this with others(not that i know of and so hope im right). truth be told i am not really used to being pampered by a male figure other than my dad or brothers before. though last nite's outing was a routine actually,but is was better than usual. it was longer and more open to each other. i dare not say anything serious as i do not intend it to be. he told me stories that inspire me in a way that it make me look back to my immatureness. to share a moment in time like that with a guy is called emotional suicide coz for most of the girls out there, it how u fall in love. but to me its just mutual needs or as they say,friends for benefit. ok enough said. it wudnt be called a scandal if it os not a secret right? hehe :D
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i wish not to say goodbye
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
at
1/26/2010 12:19:00 PM
Im
all my bags are packed im ready to go
im standing here outside ur door
i hate to wake u up to say goodbye
but the dawn is breaking
it's early morn,the taxi is waiting
he's blowing his horn already
im so lonesome i could die
so kiss me and smile for me
tell me that u'll wait for me
hold me like u'll never let me go
cause im leaving on a jet plane
i dont know when i'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
Im
there's so many times i've let u down
so many times i've played around
I'll tell u now they dont mean a thing
every place i go i think of u
every song i sing i sing for u
when i came back
i'll wear ur wedding ring
so kiss me and smile for me
tell me that u'll wait for me
hold me like u'll never let me go
Cause im leaving on a jet plane
dont know when i'll be back again
Oh babe, i hate to go
now the time has come to leave u
one more time oh let me kiss u
and close ur eyes
and i'll be on my way
dream about the days to come
when i wont have to leave alone
about the times i wont have to say
Oh kiss me and smile for me
tell me that u'll wait for me
hold me like u'll never let me go
cause im leaving on ajet plane
dont know when i'll be back again
Oh babe, i hate to go
im leaving on a jet plane
dont know when i'll be back again
Oh babe, i hate to go
leaving on a jet plane
leaving on a jet plane
leaving on a jet plane
leaving on a jet plane
leaving on a jet plane
(leaving on a jet plane)
i heard this song last nite. totally fell in love with it.soothing gila lagu ni.if u guys have watched Armageddon, this song Ben Affleck nyanyi fr his wife before he left.sweet sgt2.
this song is entitled LEAVING ON A JET PLANE by Chantel Kreviazuk
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diri ini
Sunday, January 24, 2010
at
1/24/2010 10:12:00 PM
setinggi mana tupai melompat..akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga..begitu juga manusia kawan2..sehebat mana pn diri kita ini pasti akan tiba satu saat kita kalah dlm permainan kita sendiri..sy berkata2 bukan utk menuding jari kemana2 pihak, tp utk kita semua ambl pengajaran dan cuba utk tidak mengulangi kesalahan org lain..
pernah satu ketika diri ini sungguh riak dan takbur dgn kehebatan yg x ramai orang lain miliki..kehebatan ini juga dikagumi sesetengah manusia yg bukan dr jantina sendri..kehebatan diri ini sendiri telah mendatangkn byk kebaikan(atleast yg disangka baik) kpd diri ini..hidup makin lancar tiada susah dan senantiasa happy..oleh dgn kehebatan yg dimiliki..hati ini sgt kering utk merasai emosi..oleh itu utk diri ini,emosi itu terletk di tangga akhir skali..pabila org lain mahu melibatkn emosi dgn diri ini..dgn pantas diri ini mempertikaikan dan mempermainkan emosi itu..seolah perasaan itu hanyalah kertas yg boleh di robek2..diri ini bangga dgn kejatuhan org lain..entah mengapa sifat senstve yg sepatutnya ada pd diri ini lenyap bak malam yg gelap..
namun, kita bukan lah Nabi..tiada yg sempurna pd diri ini..telah hampir sekian lama mengkering kn hati ini..tiba2,emosi yg tidak sepatutnya hadir,lagi haram jika merasai.tiba2 ada.kacau bilau hati diri ini. hidup tak keruan. di timpa perasaan sendiri. tetapi apa yg diri ini sedar, ia bukanlah cinta. cuma perhatian, atau mungkin kedua2nya salah hanya diri ini memandai2 jaga hati. diri ini mula merasa cemburu dan gila kuasa. masalahnya, diri ini mahukan sesuatu yg dari awal lagi bukan dicipta utk diri ini. tetapi mengapa di cari? mengapa di seru?
wahai diri sendiri, sedarlah engkau. ini mungkin balasan utk kesilapan yg kau lakukn pada org lain. akhirnya kehebatan memakan diri. biarlah benda yg bukan kau punya pergi kepada yg sepatutnya, yg lebih berhak. kehadiran kau dlm benda itu hanyalah habuk di atas meja. ka akan di lap bila2. bangunlah wahai diri. tunjukkan kekuatanmu. jangan kau kalah dlm permainan yg kau cipta. seseungguhnya kalah atau menang terletak di tanganmu. mahukah kau kalah dgn kelemahan diri sendiri?
pernah satu ketika diri ini sungguh riak dan takbur dgn kehebatan yg x ramai orang lain miliki..kehebatan ini juga dikagumi sesetengah manusia yg bukan dr jantina sendri..kehebatan diri ini sendiri telah mendatangkn byk kebaikan(atleast yg disangka baik) kpd diri ini..hidup makin lancar tiada susah dan senantiasa happy..oleh dgn kehebatan yg dimiliki..hati ini sgt kering utk merasai emosi..oleh itu utk diri ini,emosi itu terletk di tangga akhir skali..pabila org lain mahu melibatkn emosi dgn diri ini..dgn pantas diri ini mempertikaikan dan mempermainkan emosi itu..seolah perasaan itu hanyalah kertas yg boleh di robek2..diri ini bangga dgn kejatuhan org lain..entah mengapa sifat senstve yg sepatutnya ada pd diri ini lenyap bak malam yg gelap..
namun, kita bukan lah Nabi..tiada yg sempurna pd diri ini..telah hampir sekian lama mengkering kn hati ini..tiba2,emosi yg tidak sepatutnya hadir,lagi haram jika merasai.tiba2 ada.kacau bilau hati diri ini. hidup tak keruan. di timpa perasaan sendiri. tetapi apa yg diri ini sedar, ia bukanlah cinta. cuma perhatian, atau mungkin kedua2nya salah hanya diri ini memandai2 jaga hati. diri ini mula merasa cemburu dan gila kuasa. masalahnya, diri ini mahukan sesuatu yg dari awal lagi bukan dicipta utk diri ini. tetapi mengapa di cari? mengapa di seru?
wahai diri sendiri, sedarlah engkau. ini mungkin balasan utk kesilapan yg kau lakukn pada org lain. akhirnya kehebatan memakan diri. biarlah benda yg bukan kau punya pergi kepada yg sepatutnya, yg lebih berhak. kehadiran kau dlm benda itu hanyalah habuk di atas meja. ka akan di lap bila2. bangunlah wahai diri. tunjukkan kekuatanmu. jangan kau kalah dlm permainan yg kau cipta. seseungguhnya kalah atau menang terletak di tanganmu. mahukah kau kalah dgn kelemahan diri sendiri?
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mana u?
Friday, January 22, 2010
at
1/22/2010 02:41:00 PM
mana u? u bz ke? gym sesak sgt ke? ..y havent u called or texted me? yes i know..i told u i dun like ppl hovering me wit text messages..but what if im willing to wait? what if i mmg nk u txt?
i masih seorg perempuan, memerlukan perhatian dan belaian yg secukupnye..not demanding for it..just want to feel it sekali sekala..
i masih seorg perempuan, memerlukan perhatian dan belaian yg secukupnye..not demanding for it..just want to feel it sekali sekala..
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cinta agung
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
at
1/20/2010 11:48:00 AM
aku ni sengal sket!! br je smlm ckp im happy..suddenly this morning i came across a memory of my past..x pasal2 da tersedu2..chet!
well, the title of my post dis time was taken while i was stalking someone else's blog(KANTOI..)..
its actually true..u dunt find these things..they will naturally come to u.. its just a matter of time..truth be told be i dun easily like/fall in love with a person..crushes itu banyak..tp cinta itu istimewa..coz all my life i believe in cinta mati..dats an indo expression of the term cinta agung in malay..ye satu satu nye cinta agung manusia ialah pada Tuhan yg Maha Esa..but wat im reffering to rite nw is cinta yg lahir dr hati seseorg utk seseorg..cinta mati itu datang hanya sekali dalam hidup..cinta biasa mmg lah byk kali..the phrase cinta itu buta has a very deep meaning..yes cinta is buta..the guy/girl might be ugly, pendek, gelap or wtv yg huduh u can think of, but if its cinta buta, u dun see the flaws..infact u only see his beauty..
cinta agung melepasi tahap cinta2 lain(cinta monyet, cinta biasa,cinta buta)..cinta agung comes once in ur life..be it long or short term..u'll know he/she is ur cinta agung..x ramai boleh detect cinta agung ini..cinta sebegini ada mereka yg x dpt kecapi sampai mati..my defenition of cinta agung would be cinta kpd seseorg kerana Allah..haha cliche i know! but i believe in this..call my poyo,call me jiwang..but its the truth..its hard to explain what i mean..coz sometimes i dun understand it myself..i mean, generally cinta is nafsu dan kerna itulah maksiat boleh berlaku..u would love someone to help them..u love them juga kerna nafsu..c'mon la kita ni manusia, tipu la kalau x de flaw en? but ur nafsu is not as sama as hw u want them to be..u guys want to be tgethr dgn berkat Allah..dgn cara yg halal..mengppreciate kurnia rezeki yg Tuhan kasi,which is the children, bukti cinta agung..u'd try ur best to make them understnd the islamic way of life..u treat them seolah2 u're preparing them fr Hari Kiamat..u'd ask them to solat,puasa n tinggalkan maksiat, coz u want them to be in heaven and not burn in hell..u want ur love life to be extended til the gates of heavens open..u may not be perfect in this sense..but u try to make them better so they can help u too..and in almost setiap doa, selepas doa utk ibu bapa..nama mereka akan disebutkan dulu sebelum adik beradik..mendoakan keberkatan,kejayaan dan hidayah utk cinta agung kita..seikhlas2 hati ini berfikir dan berkata2 ..namun, kita hanya mampu merancang tp hanya Tuhan yg boleh menentukan..pendek kan cerita, dulu aku cuba mendpt cinta agung,namun..bukan ku yg menentukan suratan takdirku sendri..InsyaAllah, satu hari nanti akan Tuhan kurniakan ku cinta agung..cinta agungku yg di bawa sampai mati..hingga akan bertemu lagi di pintu syurga.
sayang,
aku cuba ye..
cinta agungmu
well, the title of my post dis time was taken while i was stalking someone else's blog(KANTOI..)..
its actually true..u dunt find these things..they will naturally come to u.. its just a matter of time..truth be told be i dun easily like/fall in love with a person..crushes itu banyak..tp cinta itu istimewa..coz all my life i believe in cinta mati..dats an indo expression of the term cinta agung in malay..ye satu satu nye cinta agung manusia ialah pada Tuhan yg Maha Esa..but wat im reffering to rite nw is cinta yg lahir dr hati seseorg utk seseorg..cinta mati itu datang hanya sekali dalam hidup..cinta biasa mmg lah byk kali..the phrase cinta itu buta has a very deep meaning..yes cinta is buta..the guy/girl might be ugly, pendek, gelap or wtv yg huduh u can think of, but if its cinta buta, u dun see the flaws..infact u only see his beauty..
cinta agung melepasi tahap cinta2 lain(cinta monyet, cinta biasa,cinta buta)..cinta agung comes once in ur life..be it long or short term..u'll know he/she is ur cinta agung..x ramai boleh detect cinta agung ini..cinta sebegini ada mereka yg x dpt kecapi sampai mati..my defenition of cinta agung would be cinta kpd seseorg kerana Allah..haha cliche i know! but i believe in this..call my poyo,call me jiwang..but its the truth..its hard to explain what i mean..coz sometimes i dun understand it myself..i mean, generally cinta is nafsu dan kerna itulah maksiat boleh berlaku..u would love someone to help them..u love them juga kerna nafsu..c'mon la kita ni manusia, tipu la kalau x de flaw en? but ur nafsu is not as sama as hw u want them to be..u guys want to be tgethr dgn berkat Allah..dgn cara yg halal..mengppreciate kurnia rezeki yg Tuhan kasi,which is the children, bukti cinta agung..u'd try ur best to make them understnd the islamic way of life..u treat them seolah2 u're preparing them fr Hari Kiamat..u'd ask them to solat,puasa n tinggalkan maksiat, coz u want them to be in heaven and not burn in hell..u want ur love life to be extended til the gates of heavens open..u may not be perfect in this sense..but u try to make them better so they can help u too..and in almost setiap doa, selepas doa utk ibu bapa..nama mereka akan disebutkan dulu sebelum adik beradik..mendoakan keberkatan,kejayaan dan hidayah utk cinta agung kita..seikhlas2 hati ini berfikir dan berkata2 ..namun, kita hanya mampu merancang tp hanya Tuhan yg boleh menentukan..pendek kan cerita, dulu aku cuba mendpt cinta agung,namun..bukan ku yg menentukan suratan takdirku sendri..InsyaAllah, satu hari nanti akan Tuhan kurniakan ku cinta agung..cinta agungku yg di bawa sampai mati..hingga akan bertemu lagi di pintu syurga.
sayang,
aku cuba ye..
cinta agungmu
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i am happy :)
i am confident enuf to say..for a girl my age, i've seen a lot..be it others' experiences or mine..i can never judge a person(GOD forbid) based on their backgrnd,religious practice,how they look or talk..diff people act differently in front of different groups..sometimes its not coz they are hypocrites..its just hw they prefer to be ..paham x? this type of people make a lot of friends..i dun really get where im going here..haha abaikan..
anyways, utk pengetahuan uols..im happy now..cant find that much reasons..but i know im happy..sometimes we need not search for happiness..but to accept it..finally i hv found another smbdy who is the other me..aftr 8 months of crying and whining..im now happy..i can talk bout my past without a teardrop..ngee~
rite nw pn byk things are happening in my life..but i set my priorities right..
anyways, utk pengetahuan uols..im happy now..cant find that much reasons..but i know im happy..sometimes we need not search for happiness..but to accept it..finally i hv found another smbdy who is the other me..aftr 8 months of crying and whining..im now happy..i can talk bout my past without a teardrop..ngee~
rite nw pn byk things are happening in my life..but i set my priorities right..
- studies
- money
- family
- self
hehe..ok la tuh kn.ok guys..i need rest nw..see ya nxt time..love u
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